April 29th, 2009

Counsellor’s Notebook: Abused wife

Over 300 women approach AWARE’s team of 9 counsellors every month. This puts our counsellors in the unique position of having an intimate knowledge of the troubles faced by women in Singapore. All details shared with our counsellors are strictly confidential. The following testimonials are reproduced with permission from clients who feel they can help other women by sharing their stories.

“I had just been hit by my husband again. I’ve forgotten how many times he’s hit me, but this was the worst. I had a black eye, and a sprained wrist.  He had stopped hitting me for a few months, and I thought that he had indeed changed. But then this happened. We had been arguing on and off for 2 days, and then when I wanted to go out for dinner with my friends without him on a Saturday night, he suddenly flew into a rage and pushed me to the floor and started hitting me.

I was in such a state of confusion. I love my husband and I was quite sure he loved me too.  But I don’t want to be hit anymore.

Luckily a friend told me about the AWARE Helpline and I called them up.  The lady calmed me down and helped me think about what I wanted to do next.  She also referred me to a counselor and I went to see her at the AWARE centre.  She helped me clear up a lot of my tangled emotions and helped me see that my marriage was not doomed even though I had to take action to stop the abuse.

Thanks to AWARE, I sought further help to end the cycle of abuse, and I am still married, and we now have a loving relationship. We are planning to have a baby next year, when hopefully the economy picks up and our jobs are more secure.”

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