Thanks for alerting us to such a menace.

I believe without this, it will happen again. Do you think teenagers will listen to Channel 8′s TV dramas showing women being bullied or attacked on TV (aka Jeanette Aw in the Little Nyonya), or feisty feminists like us? Even the Siloso beach party website shows 5 bikini babes dancing on the top banner. Fresh meat!: http://www.silosobeachparty.com/gallery.php

One way to encourage action is to post the names of media officials, the Siloso Beach Countdown organizers, and such people, and other channels of communication, so we can express our indignance through effective channels of influence.

It’s an undeniable notion in any society, and to try to deny it, would simply be fruitless. Be it a girl in a bikini or a guy in his underwear, dressing in that way simply invites people to stare and to look and perhaps to lust at and objectify the human body.

Yes, it may not be an invitation to be molested, but I believe we can be discerning as to how we dress nowadays. No, girls don’t deserve to be raped or molested, but they need to really act more responsibly

I fully agree with solobear:

“to me, it is not responsible for the writer to be telling young girls that they can be drunk, walking alone, wearing a bikini in a crowded place. That is not asking for trouble. That is just plain irresponsible behaviour.”

Yes, the public is wrong to blame the victim. No one deserves the treatment the girl got. It is exceptionally disturbing that society comments as to how the girl invited the whole situation. Yet at the same time, AWARE needs to take a more even handed approach to this whole matter.

It’s never ok to blame the victim in the situation. And no, “ladies (don’t) need to keep their “goods” hidden away at home, but hey, there’s a right place and a right time, and some sense of decency and decorum to be observed yea?

There are women too out there who need to be empowered to stand up for their rights and dignity. Women too have an equal responsibility to demand to be treated as equals and with dignity.

Connie Singam

Quite frankly this is an epic failure to grasp the salient issue.

> The point is NOT who is at fault .

Uh yes it is. That IS what it’s about.

The public said “it is HER fault” and the writer’s point is that it is not.

Nobody is stopping you from teaching the woman how to make a well place kick to the groin if you are concerned with safety. I’m sure AWARE is supportive of self defense education.

But THE POINT of this piece is that it is not OK to blame the victim in any scenario.

I agree with Solo Bear. This is a matter of safety and security. In a burglary or theft context, one is advised NOT to display or keep valuables openly in cars, or NOT to keep cash and jewellery at home. Doing so only invites perpetrators – it is tempting them. And law enforcement cannot be anywhere and everywhere.

(Please use my aka Zhuang Jin Shi.)

This to me is an irresponsible statement. Instead of teaching young women to keep away from situations that compromise her safety, the article appears to say that it is OK not to do that.

I see this molest issue as a criminal issue, while the writer sees it as a feminist one. To me, it is not responsible for the writer to be telling young girls that they can be drunk, walking alone, wearing a bikini in a crowded place. That is not asking for trouble. That is just plain irresponsible behaviour.

Feminists should stop this blanket “it’s not your fault” argument. The point is NOT who is at fault .The point is SAFETY. And it is the safety of the woman that is on the line – not the criminal’s.

The bottom line is this – if the woman does not care for her own safety, you expect someone else will?

Related article
The discussion in the above link is about rape, but it can be seen in molest context as well.

However, I think the big hurdle is enforcing that perspective.

Just how do we keep drunk people from doing drunken acts? Or should all nightspots be brightly lit so that ladies could see clearly if they are groped?

Maybe, just maybe, we should all stop drinking. haha.

On the other hand, education is not the solution as we see traditional moral standards decline with each Singaporean generation. What are the youth into these days? If the grown men of today are unruly, how much more our sons?

Maybe, there should be a minimum age for internet use.

I think the solution is an empowered woman. Someone who chooses not to be messed with. Someone who will say, “Stop It”. Is the secret ingredient Confidence? or Self Belief?

Why are molest victims even unsure that they are groped? Why is it that most molest cases go unreported? The girls made that choice at that moment because it provides the best benefits. To avoid being in the wrong.

Imagine a world where people aren’t afraid to be wrong. How many molest accusations would you see in a club in just one night?

I have presented the solution to your problem in the best of my meager knowledge.

Maybe, just maybe, more action and less talk needs to be done.

This post was mentioned on Twitter by unfluff: Not OK to say “boys will be boys, girls beware”. AWARE’s statement on reactions to Sentosa groping incident http://bit.ly/7mULKA #awaresg…

Agreed. To suggest that a woman is obliged to modify her behaviour to assure her safety is to imply that society in general should view men as being unthinking, unfeeling, hormone-driven animals led purely by their inability to control themselves. Do we think so lowly of our men?

Every human being has the right to safety in public and private space. Saying that a woman deserves to get molested because she attends a beach party is no different from saying that a woman’s rightful place is in the home: Restricting freedom of movement using the excuse of tradition is no different from restricting freedom of movement using the excuse of clubbing culture. If all of us stopped frequenting spaces in which women constantly get molested, we’d have to be off the streets altogether.

If clubbing culture dictates that a woman should expect to be molested when going for a party, this culture has to change and should -not- be viewed as something that is natural or acceptable.

And I wholeheartedly agree with Daphne about the fact that molest and rape need to be addressed within the scope of sex education and should be positioned as the crimes that they are.