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Month: July 2017

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Alamak! Award: Who is the biggest sexist of 2017?

The moment many of us have been waiting for – AWARE’s popular Alamak! Awards are back!

While our annual AWARE Awards celebrate individuals and organisations that have done a fantastic job pushing for gender equality in Singapore, our Alamak!  Award is given out to the most jaw-dropping instance of sexism and misogyny seen in the last year. Who will be the biggest sexist? You decide!

The recipients of both Awards will be revealed at our Love Ball on 8 September.

This year, we spoil you – you have a choice between five terrible candidates. Take a look at their work and cast your votes below. You can cast two votes. Read more about the Alamak! Awards here.

Court judgement perpetuates victim-blaming in a sexual assault case

In April, a man was acquitted of sexually assaulting a 15 year old girl. The girl first told her boyfriend that she had been raped three months after the incident. Despite the victim’s young age and the fact that the accused was the live-in boyfriend of her mother, the court, in acquitting the accused, found that the victim was not  “prompt in her complaints” and that “there were no reasons for her not to confide in members of her family or her boyfriend. …Someone so abused and humiliated would be expected to seek help and redress when she breaks her silence.” Survivors are commonly reluctant to come forward for what is a vastly under-reported, stigmatised crime. We look to authorities to bust these myths about sexual assault – not reinforce them!

Absolute Comics and staff comments in a movie review

Local comic book store, Absolute Comics, published a sexist movie review of Logan on Facebook – applauding Hugh Jackman while lamenting that character X-23, played by a 12 year old girl, was not “older, fuller and sexier” like they had hoped. When online commenters criticised this sexual objectification of a child, staff member James Chan replied with a condescending,  unapologetic rant: sexual objectification is a part of society – so just get over it, and don’t “throw your ideas of morality and pro-feminism crap” at them. Fans already have to fight pretty hard against misogyny in the comic books scene, and this guy is just taking things backwards.

MORE victim-blaming: Dear Kelly’s catastrophic advice in Teenage magazine

A young survivor of rape does what society always recommends: talk to an adult. When she wrote in to Teenage magazine’s advice column, Dear Kelly, about her experience of sexual assault, “Kelly”’s first instinct was to respond with three pages of victim blaming, calling the girl ‘naïve’, judging her for acting “like a girl who has been around”, and framing rape as a rightful “punishment” for lying to her parents about where she was when the assault happened. Naturally, Teenage provoked an uproar on social media – prompting “Kelly” to release a “Sorry not sorry” apology where she once again instructed young girls how not to get raped, rather than criticising and denouncing the rapist. Still no empathetic, useful response.

Public breastfeeding “shamers”

A photo of a mother breastfeeding on the MRT was taken without her consent and circulated on social media. While the mother gave a confident response about breastfeeding and supporting women’s choices, commenters galloped in with public shaming and sexual objectification, including in a press letter. The gall of a mother to feed her baby in public! How dare a woman do something with her body other than entice men! Here’s a big ALAMAK to the people who got worked up over a bare breast. Sounds way more tiring than just minding their own business.

ROM & HDB work together to ensure two citizens’ basic needs are NOT met

Heard the story of how a couple who got married in Singapore lost both their HDB flat and marital status? All this happened when the transgender partner underwent gender-affirming surgery after their marriage. FK is a transgender woman, whose IC still listed her sex as “Male” at the time of their marriage. She was required by the Registry of Marriages to sign a declaration that she wouldn’t undergo gender-affirming surgery until after their marriage (and told to “dress more masculine” at their wedding). The painful twist comes when HDB refused to give them the keys to their flat for which they had queued four years to get. Then, ROM unilaterally annulled their marriage, and “unmarried” them. Even when it works out on paper, our state puts in extra effort to ensure that those who don’t fit into their narrow “family portrait” are penalised. 

[poll id=”11″]

Voting closes on 10 August 2017.

Don’t forget to watch this space, or follow us on Twitter and Facebook to find out who won!

If you’d like to support us as we strive for gender equality, do consider attending our gala event.  Want to find out who won last year’s Alamak! and AWARE Awards? Click here.

Ramadan Talks: Teenage pregnancy and marriage

By Nurin Adila Shahrin, GEC volunteer

More than 40 participants gathered for the second session of Gender Equality is Our Culture’s (GEC) Ramadan Talks, to learn more about the causes and consequences of teenage pregnancy and marriage within the Malay-Muslim community in Singapore. Since 2006, the Malay community has consistently had the highest proportion of births to mothers aged 19 and below. In addition, there is a higher occurrence of teenage marriages under the Muslim Law Act as compared to those under the Women’s Charter.  To understand this phenomenon, we were pleased to invite Babes, a service that reaches out to and supports pregnant teenage girls, and Associate Professor Noor Aisha Abdul Rahman from NUS, to share their insights.  

Babes was initially launched in 2005 under Beyond Social Services to provide support for teenagers with unplanned pregnancies. Babes helped 191 individuals over the helpline in 2016 alone and support 60-80 teenagers who have unplanned pregnancies annually.

They shared anecdotes from some cases that they have worked with and it became clear that family and partner support is crucial in helping teenagers work through this stressful period in their lives.

The rate of teenage marriage and pregnancy has been declining over the years. However, the consequences of teenage marriage – such as marital instability and poverty – remain a concern. A/P Noor Aisha’s research findings show that majority of Malay-Muslim couples in teenage marriages come from families with a household income of less than $2000 and dropped out of school early.   

Participants repeatedly brought up the need for comprehensive, judgment-free sex education – one that does not merely preach abstinence. They proposed that sex education start at an earlier age, as those who drop out of school early may not have the chance to access it. In addition, sex education should be made more easily available both within and outside schools. They suggested that removing the taboo surrounding sex and the shame associated with teenage pregnancy would allow for more open discussions, facilitate the implementation of better policies, and improve the lives of those struggling.

Others were concerned that the stigma of being a single mother and lack of support for them meant that marriage is sometimes the only way to avoid the cultural shame – not to mention a way to alleviate the financial burden through government incentives such as the Baby Bonus and housing grants. It is understandable then why teenagers choose to marry even if they don’t comprehend the consequences of doing so.

One participant spoke about her work with teenage girls who were pregnant, where she made it a point to ask about their ambitions so they know that there are still opportunities for them to achieve their dreams. Teenagers should know that there are other pathways and options for them despite their pregnancy.

Teenage pregnancy and marriages can create a recurring cycle of poverty for families from disadvantaged backgrounds. This phenomenon is compounded by teenage marriage procedures for Muslim marriages. While non-Muslim teenagers below the age of 18 would need the consent of their parents and the Minister of Social and Family Development for marriage, Muslim teenagers below the age of 18 only need the consent of their parents and a kadi (solemniser). The complexity of the laws begs it to be dealt with from various angles. From tackling normative ideas to structural inequality, there remains a pressing need to conceptualise a concrete plan that could improve the lives of many families who are affected.

“Love Ball” – AWARE’s Annual Fundraiser!

Get ready for it – our big (and getting bigger!) annual gala event, Love Ball, will be happening on Friday, 8 September 2017! The Love Ball is a fun-filled opportunity to celebrate our achievements in paving the way for gender equality in Singapore – with our community of passionate members, kind donors and generous sponsors. This is our most important fundraising event, supporting all of AWARE’s critical services and programmes including:

  • a regular Helpline for women in crisis, counselling services and legal clinic
  • support services as part of our specialised Sexual Assault Care Centre – the only one of its kind in Singapore
  • training programmes that empower young people, including workshops on consent, equal relationships and sexual health
  • a joint project with non-profit group Daughters of Tomorrow, “Building Dreams”, that aims to help lower-income women break out of the cycle of poverty and gain access to employment in the eldercare industry, and
  • rigorous research and well-coordinated advocacy promoting changes in laws, public policies and cultural attitudes to achieve gender equality.

We warmly invite you to participate in this wonderful evening – with good food and wine, great company and top-notch entertainment.

When? 8 September 2017 (Friday), 7pm
Where? John Jacob Ballroom, The St Regis Singapore
Theme: Flower Power

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE LOVE BALL HERE

Let’s Talk: Parent fleeing Singapore with their children: Is this ‘abduction’ under the Hague Convention?

 Jo wants to take her child out of Singapore without the permission of her spouse. She is unsure if she can move to another country, and is worried if this would be seen as “abducting” or “kidnapping” her own child.

Imagine these scenarios where Jo is:

A. a victim of domestic violence and fears for the safety of herself and her child 
B. a foreign spouse who wants to return to home country with her child 
C. separating from the spouse (with or without divorce) and wants to move to another country together with her child 
D. an unmarried mother of a child born to a Singaporean and wants to leave the country with her child 

Can she leave together with her child in any of these scenarios? Can the left-behind parent ask for the child to be returned under the Hague Abduction Convention?

If these situations apply to you or someone you know, or if you are a social worker or a working professional supporting this group of individuals, come find out more about the Hague Convention and what you can do.

Date: Wed 26 July 2017
Time: 7pm
Venue: AWARE Centre, 5 Dover Crescent #01-22, S 130005
REGISTER HERE

Light refreshments will be served
Childcare can be arranged – please email wecan@aware.org.sg with number of children and their ages, by 24 July

Joining us to speak at this session are two lawyers, June Lim and Susan Tay, who will share more about their knowledge on the Hague Convention as well as an initiative – Project Relocation. Project Relocation is a PracticeForte project in collaboration with their respective law firms to provide accessible legal help to spouses trying to relocate with their children.

Representatives of the media will be required to identify themselves prior to the event, and no photos/videos are allowed without explicit consent.  We welcome reporting on the points and issues raised, but no names and identities should be included.

About the speakers: 

June Lim is the Managing Director of Eden Law Corporation, a ‘low-bono’ law firm founded on June’s firm belief that doing good and a successful legal practice are not mutually exclusive concepts. Professionally, June has been involved in litigation at all levels of the Singapore Courts, although her principal area of practice has been in the area of matrimonial law. June represented the successful German father in BDU v. BDT [2014] SGCA 12, the first case decided in Singapore under the International Child Abduction Act.

Susan Tay is the Managing Partner at OTP Law Corporation. With an experience spanning 27 years, Susan has kept focused in the areas of family and matrimonial law, shareholders’ disputes and litigation. Calling on the amalgamation of her experience in both family and property law, Susan has also served clients in complex work in the area of Trust Law. In this aspect, Susan collaborates with other professional affiliates in the PracticeForte Advisory to provide counsel in the formation of family trusts. Susan has also assisted and led contentious litigation matters in the disentangling of family feuds for trust properties.