Year: 2018

Let’s Talk: Healing and Community by Penawar

 

Penawar, a support group for Muslim women or those who come from a Muslim background, will be holding their first ever public event on 21 November, 7.30pm. Join them for an intimate conversation about the history of Penawar and the good work that they do, and celebrate the launch of their website and first ever zine! You can also learn more about healing and self-care through booths at the event.

Date: 21 November 2018, Wednesday
Time: 7.30pm-9.30pm
Venue: SCWO, 96 Waterloo Street

Register here.

ABOUT THE ORGANISER:

Penawar is a support group created for Singaporean women who are Muslims or are from a Muslim background, to share their thoughts on taboo and sensitive issues of religion and individual experiences of religious trauma. Their main aim is to reach out and build a strong peer-led support that enables these women to heal and find comfort via monthly support groups and other activities. Penawar is also a recipient of AWARE’s own Power Fund, which focuses on mentoring emerging organisations.

A Place To Call Home – Reflections from Sarah, a participating artist

On 13 October 2018, AWARE held a launch party for A Place To Call Home – a photo-essay exhibition by single-parent families. The exhibition is the powerful, heartfelt result of months of creative work by five individuals from single-parent families. Each artist generously opened up their homes and family lives in an effort to expand the national conversation about life in single-parent families, and challenge the restrictions and stereotypes they often face.

The party was a lovely, intimate affair with about a hundred supporters who showed up (despite the rainy Saturday afternoon) to check out the photos and essays which were originally produced at a workshop in June. Kicking off the event with a curatorial walkthrough, Nurul Huda, lead curator and facilitator for the photo essay workshop, talked the audience through the entire process, from conceptualisation to curation. She also emphasised that these stories are not something we, as the audience, are inherently entitled to; rather, they should be valued as something to honour, pay attention to, and take active steps to support and address.

The afternoon then flowed into an insightful – and at times emotional – discussion, led by Corinna Lim, Executive Director of AWARE, with the participants: Sherlin Giri, a widowed mother of two; Kate Moey, a divorced mother; Nursarah Safari, a 19-year-old undergraduate student; and Samara Joseph, the 12-year-old daughter of Sherlin. Guest-of-Honour, MP Rahayu Mahzam, shared her perspectives and experiences supporting single-parent families in her constituency, and talked about the need to improve the housing system so that fewer families fall through the cracks.

Read the following reflection piece by one of the artists, Nursarah Safari, on her experience participating in the workshop and rallying for fairer housing rules: 

A touching moment between Nursarah and her mother.

 I think I speak for everyone involved in the project when I say that ‘A Place To Call Home’ on Saturday was a polished and refined masterpiece that started not from an idea or a hope, but an impetus.

When I first signed up to be a part of this project in April, I honestly didn’t expect to drag myself out of bed on that cold Saturday morning, to show up for a workshop advocating for fairer housing policies for single-parent families on the other side of the country. I honestly didn’t think I would find myself at the Intermission Bar months later, speaking about my art or my life or the lives of those just like me.

But God knows I’m glad I did.

Coming from a single-parent family, I have felt like I was at a disadvantage compared to those around me who come from two-parent families – yet, it was only after immersing myself in a community of people with the same label that I realised how incredibly fortunate I am in comparison.

Hearing the stories of Sherlin and Samara, of Kate and Alena, was immensely humbling. These are women who have had to go through what I believe are losses and hurdles much, much more formidable than the ones I faced not just in securing housing, but with regards to every other difficulty universally encountered by others of our ilk. These are stories which should be at the forefront of the public eye, stories that, in years to come, should no longer be a commonality. To share an exhibition and a microphone with them, to speak of our experiences on behalf of our community, to witness the solidarity and courage permeating a room with an audience there to rally for this cause – to say that I was honoured is an understatement.

The exhibition was a critical step forward. It was humanising a problem dehumanised by numbers and complex bureaucratic processes. It put a real image – nay, images – to ‘95% of single mothers who sought public housing faced challenges’, and ‘single parenthood transitions can be very difficult for women and their children, materially and emotionally’, and every other statement one finds out there about this problem. It was not just an exhibition to motivate others. It was an impetus.

My hope, post-event, is that this topic, having left our lips, whistles loudly in the wind for everyone else to hear and wonder with widened eyes. Is their plight just? We don’t want your sympathy. We don’t want your “I’m so sorry to hear that” or your “Can I talk about my father/spouse in front of you?”. We want your signature on petitions and your voice out on the streets. We – just like everyone else – deserve the right to a home. It isn’t a battle we should have to fight, but we fight on, and we’re extending our shields and swords to you to fight with us.


This event would not have been possible without the support of and contributions by:

Alena Tan (participating artist)
Kate Moey (participating artist)
Nursarah Safari (participating artist)
Samara Joseph (participating artist)
Sherlin Giri (participating artist)
Nurul Huda Abdul Rashid (facilitator and co-curator)
MP Rahayu Mahzam (GOH and panelist)
Intermission Bar (venue sponsor)
FairPrice Foundation (event sponsor)

Thank you to everyone who donated and contributed their time, effort and stories – and everyone who came down to support the event.

A Place To Call Home will be showcased at Intermission Bar until 4 November 2018, after which AWARE will be working with members of the public to tour the exhibition to various community spaces around the island. Check out the photos from the launch party here. To get in touch with us for future collaborations, please write to Nabilah at media@aware.org.sg.

 

23 November 2018: Let’s Talk – Syariah Law, Divorce

Are you going through a divorce or contemplating one? In this talk, lawyer Ameera Bajrai will be discussing the laws surrounding both marriage and divorce for Muslims in Singapore.

Learn about family disputes, divorce proceedings under Syariah law, custody of children and division of matrimonial assets. This talk is important for anyone contemplating a separation/divorce or anyone who would like to know about divorce laws under Syariah.

This talk will cover:
Understanding family disputes
The Law on Muslim Divorce Proceedings
Custody of Children
Division of Matrimonial Assets

There will also be a Q&A segment where you can ask all your burning questions!

Date: Friday 23 November
Time: 7-9.30pm
Venue: AWARE Centre, 5 Dover Crescent #01-22 S130005
Light refreshments will be served.

Want to attend the 19 November talk on Wills & Inheritance? Click here.

Register here.

About the speaker
Ameera Bajrai is an associate of I.R.B. LAW LLP. She advises on civil litigation, family law, Syariah law, estate law, criminal defence, insolvency and restructuring, debt recovery and employment matters.

This talk is organised in partnership with IRBLAW LLP.

19 November 2018: Let’s Talk – Syariah Law, Wills & Inheritance

Want to learn more about Muslim wills and inheritance? In this talk, lawyer Nur Izyan will be discussing the laws on inheritance under Syariah.

This talk will help participants learn more about Muslim Wills and the law on Muslim inheritance.

There will also be a Q&A segment where you can ask all your burningquestions!

Date: Monday, 19 November
Time: 7-9.30pm
Venue: AWARE Centre, 5 Dover Crescent #01-22 S130005
Light refreshments will be served.

Register here.

Want to attend the 23 November talk on Divorce? Click here.

About the speaker

Nur Izyan is an associate of I.R.B. LAW LLP. She advises on civil litigation, family law, Syariah law, estate law, criminal defence, insolvency and restructuring, debt recovery and employment matters.

This talk is organised in partnership with IRBLAW LLP.

In-kind donations needed!

AWARE is supporting some single-parent families who have gotten in touch with requests for personal donations. If you have and would like to give away any of the following items, please write to Preethi at projects@aware.org.sg. Thank you for your generous support!
Update: Thanks everyone for your overwhelming support! We’ve since received plenty of generous donations for the families.

Cultivating Emotional Resilience From Within by Brave Spaces

Emotional resilience is the ability to maintain constructive function in times of extreme stress. It enables us to be present to those around us and simultaneously acknowledge the negative feelings within us. When we are emotionally resilient, we are aware of the feelings of others and our judgment is not clouded by the negative feelings we hold. These are essential ingredients in fostering warm meaningful relationships in both work and family, and making choices that propel us to where we want to go.

If this is something that interests you, come join us in this session. At the end of the session, you will:

  • Understand what emotional resilience is
  • Refine and redefine your understanding of your emotions
  • Begin to unravel emotional knots in your life
  • Expand your vocabulary to articulate the various emotions that you experience
  • Develop strategies to improve emotional resilience 

Date: Saturday, 3 November 2018
Time: 10am – 1pm
Venue: AWARE centre, Blk 5 Dover Crescent #01-22 S130005

Register here. 

ABOUT THE ORGANISER
Brave Spaces is a Singapore-based non-profit organisation that develops programmes, provides social services, organises events, and conducts research and advocacy to empower women in Singapore. Brave Spaces is also a recipient of AWARE’s own Power Fund, which focuses on mentoring emerging organisations.

Photo essay exhibition, A Place To Call Home, reveals homes and lives of single-parent families

This post was originally published as a press release on 13 October 2018.

Shots of messy, colourful bedrooms, of stainless steel cleaning appliances and of post-it notes from daughter to mother on a kitchen wall – these images are part of A Place To Call Home, a photo essay exhibition currently on showcase at Intermission Bar and organised by gender equality group AWARE. The exhibition explores the idea of home, and all five photo essays were put together by individuals from single-parent families.

Three children from single-parent families, and two single mothers – one divorced, and one whose husband passed away several years ago – opened the doors to their homes in an effort to expand the national conversation about life in single-parent families, and challenge the restrictions and stereotypes they often face.

The essays tackle issues like difficulties with getting stable, affordable housing after divorce; stereotypes of what single-parent family life and relationships look like; and what taking on household chores and domestic responsibilities as a single mother can feel like, among others.

The exhibition is a continuation of AWARE’s campaign for equitable housing policies for single parents. MP Rahayu Mahzam will be gracing the launch party for the exhibition on 13 October (Saturday), as Guest-Of-Honour.

“A Place To Call Home was hugely inspired by the kinds of conversations we had with single mothers over the last few years as we embarked on our journey to advocate for their right to affordable and swift housing access,” said Corinna Lim, Executive Director of AWARE. “We met dozens of mothers who struggled with giving their families what they needed because of the constraints that come with being in a single-income household, and mothers who, on the daily, deal with prejudice and stereotypes from their family members, peers and even officials they met through their housing cases.”

“With the exhibition, we wanted single-parent families themselves to share their own perspectives and experiences, and what they felt was most important to them as a family. Too often, we hear of their stories through data, reports and headlines – but single-parent families are not homogenous. The lives they lead cannot be put in a box, nor can the families they raise and the homes they deserve.”

The photo essays were developed in a two-part photography workshop in June, led by Nurul Huda Abdul Rashid, a researcher, photographer and educator. Participants were given the chance to pick up technical skills on photography, essay-writing and storytelling in an environment where their experiences of life in a single-parent household were understood and shared by others.

Said Kate Moey, a 53-year-old divorced mother who is part of the exhibition, “It is my hope that all our policies and laws will continue to evolve to be fair and non-discriminatory for everyone, and that our housing policies are fairer for single parents. I hope that this can create a Singapore where we are all regarded as one family without any walls differentiating parents who are all trying to build a home for our children and to give our children a place they can assuredly call “Home”. “

“Taking these photos and presenting them here has given me the chance to visually depict my story while welcoming others into my little slice of the world,” said Sherlin Giri, a 41-year-old mother of two who contributed to the exhibition with her daughter. “Perhaps someday, no one would think twice about treating us as equal to all other families – as complete and contributing families in our own right.”

Another participant, Nursarah Safari, a 19-year-old undergraduate from a local university, said: “This exhibition is an immersion into the lives of the single-parent families within our neighbourhoods and along our corridors. I hope that it sheds light on the struggles we go through to seem “okay” and “fine” on the outside – despite facing psychological, financial and social challenges – and on the support society can provide to ease the struggle for others just like us.”

The photo essay exhibition is showcased at Intermission Bar until 4 November, and will be toured in community spaces next year, to call for more support for single-parent families.  

In 2017, AWARE published their in-depth study (with accompanying Annexes), involving interviews with 55 single mothers, which found that 95% of respondents who sought public housing faced problems like the unrealistic income ceiling, long debarment periods and lack of transparency and clarity in policies.

#singaporetoo: How are our institutions ending workplace harassment?

This post was originally published as an op-ed in The Business Times on 12 October 2018. 

Flip open any newspaper in 2018 and you’ll likely find one (if not several) reports on the latest public reckoning of sexual harassment and assault perpetrators. One year after the #metoo movement took off on Twitter, we are still feeling the ripple effects of men who have committed sexual violence being taken to task all over the world – from the US, to Hong Kong, to – most recently – India.

Compared to the loudness of the movement elsewhere, Singapore appears relatively timid in confronting the subject. But AWARE’s experience shows that #metoo has been making its waves here behind the scenes.

When the movement first started in October last year, we saw a 79% spike in calls from survivors to our Sexual Assault Care Centre (SACC). The level of calls have remained high and has continued to increase steadily.

We also saw a significant 400% increase in the number of anti-harassment workshops conducted by Catalyse Consulting, our corporate training and consultancy arm that runs anti-harassment training for workplaces. More employers are seeing the importance of putting in place policies, practices and regular training programmes for staff at all levels to manage and prevent workplace harassment.

These trends continue and it is clear to us that #metoo has succeeded in disrupting the norm of silence and not reporting.

Here are some important lessons about how to establish a safe, harassment-free working environment.

Process is as important as outcome

Based on our experience working with survivors, the process that they were put through – from the moment they reported the harassment to their supervisors, to the way that the investigation was carried out, and the company’s communication to parties about the outcome – is as important as the outcome.

A flawed process will undermine the outcome and lead to a situation where parties feel dissatisfied and frustrated with the process and see the organisation as being bias, untrustworthy or unprofessional. Justice and due process must seen to be done, in order for the outcome to be accepted by the parties. In the worst cases, everyone loses – complainant and accused are unhappy; staff take sides and lose confidence in management, word gets out and the company’s reputation takes a hit.

The unsatisfactory investigation process of the alleged sexual misconduct in the Brett Kavanaugh hearings resulted in an outcome that was highly controversial and divisive, led to street protests, and an undermining of key institutions in the US.

The failure of the Singapore Athletics to conduct a proper investigation of local athlete’s Kerstin Ong’s complaint of harassment by her coach led to the accused feeling that he was unfairly sacked. Their poor communication with Ms Ong about their actions caused her further pain, and led to Ms Ong raising a second complaint against the accused. Singapore Athletics’ failure of process was reported in the media.

Conversely, in a case that SACC was involved in, an independent panel of external investigators were called in to look into a claim of harassment; what followed was a sensitively-handled inquiry. Although there was insufficient evidence to prove the harassment, the survivor felt that she had a fair and sensitive hearing, and was satisfied with the process.

Be prepared

An organisation that does not already have its policies and procedures its place, will find it extremely difficult to effectively manage harassment complaints. Emotions run high where there are serious complaints. News spreads fast. Quick action has to be taken to activate the investigation and grievance handling teams.

If processes are not in place and management personnel are not properly equipped to deal with the issue, the company can find itself in panic mode. This can further complicate matters and escalate tensions, and cause parties to lose faith in the process.

The following needs to already be in place for a company to effectively address harassment complaints effectively:

  1. Clearly documented anti-harassment policies and harassment management processes that staff have been trained on;
  2. Appropriate personnel have been identified and trained to investigate and manage such complaints. Investigation processes are tricky and it might be useful for companies to consider using third party specialists for their investigations.

Walking the talk

It is pointless putting policies, procedures and training in place, if the company shuts an eye to problematic behaviours that occur. This gives rise to cynicism and low morale amongst employees, and strengthens the case that the company breached its legal duty to its employees.

Prevention is better than cure

In the past, some HR managers shunned harassment training as they feared that awareness of harassment might give rise to unnecessary harassment complaints.

The Tripartite Advisory on Managing Workplace Harassment mandating that employers implement policies, procedures and training on workplace harassment, has made it clear that this is in fact the best way to prevent workplace harassment.

By implementing clear policies and proper training, employers make it clear to their employees that certain types of behaviours that constitute workplace harassment will not be tolerated. Training empowers everyone to assert their rights to safety, and know where and how to seek support when they find themselves in uncomfortable situations.

Effective workplace harassment training focuses on building positive and respectful workplace cultures. It sends a strong message to staff that their employers care about their well being and will take appropriate action to ensure a safe workplace and to protect them.

Where are employers in Singapore?

Catalyse Consulting has helped many international companies based in Singapore with their initiatives to tackle this head on. Local companies, including larger and medium sized companies, have been much slower to react.

Employers in Singapore need to urgently look into workplace harassment and to mitigate its risks. #metoo is not going to go away. Rather than hoping it would, we need workplaces to be prepared and committed to the safety of its workers, and to value employees’ rights to workplaces free from harassment.   

Singapore, Disrupted: A fireside chat with Chua Mui Hoong & Margaret Thomas

If inequality is the biggest challenge facing Singapore today, what policy solutions will decrease the gap between the “best” and the rest? How can we give all children an equal start in life so that their circumstances at birth do not determine the rest of their lives? How can gender inequality be tackled so that women are better supported at work and at home?

Chua Mui Hoong – Opinion Editor at The Straits Times and author of Singapore, Disrupted – will join Margaret Thomas, President of AWARE for a conversation that moves beyond talking about the problem of inequality, to explore thoughtful solutions that will make Singapore a more equal society.

You can read about AWARE’s recommendations on addressing the impact of inequality on low-income mothers in our latest research report here.

Date: 7 November 2018

Venue: AWARE Centre (5 Dover Crescent #01-22)
Time: 7pm -9pm

Register here!