Author: AWARE Media

AWARE awards Teo You Yenn, Monica Baey and Liyana Dhamirah, breaks fundraising record with $600,000 in donations at Time Traveller’s Ball

This post was originally published as a press release on 3 November 2019.

3 November 2019 – For its annual gala on Saturday, 2 November, gender-equality group AWARE set its fundraising target at $500,000.  

The total amount raised—around $600,000 in all—amply exceeded that goal. The amount is the largest sum ever raised by the 34-year-old organisation through a single event.

Entitled the Time Traveller’s Ball, with a “Back to the Future” theme evoking both past victories and future hopes, the gala dinner (in its ninth edition, since 2011) welcomed 500-odd attendees clad in retro-futuristic costumes. These guests enjoyed a full night of revelry at the Shangri-La Hotel’s Island Ballroom. 

Donations were raised through AWARE’s annual pledge, “donor’s draw” lucky dip, silent auction and a new live auction segment, as well as the net proceeds from the sale of tables at the gala dinner. Beyond the organisation’s critical services for women, such as the Women’s Helpline and Sexual Assault Care Centre, this year’s pledge shone a spotlight on AWARE’s long-standing research and advocacy work. 

“Research and advocacy has always been the beating heart of AWARE, since its founding in 1985,” said AWARE Executive Director Corinna Lim. “That’s how an organisation like ours can effect real, structural change. But—as any researcher will tell you—that work is not always easy to fund. So we’re thrilled that AWARE’s research and advocacy efforts, which contribute to positive changes in our laws, policies and public attitudes, will receive some much-needed support from tonight’s pledge.”

In her address to the crowd, Ms Lim cited recent reforms such as the repeal of marital rape immunity and the decriminalisation of suicide as changes successfully advocated for by AWARE and other non-governmental organisations. 

AWARE’s research team this year published the report “Make Care Count”, examining the financial impact of eldercare on female caregivers in Singapore. Upcoming projects include a report on foreign domestic workers performing eldercare in Singapore, and the career effects of workplace sexual harassment on female workers. 

(L-R) AWARE founding member Dr Kanwaljit Soin, Monica Baey, Liyana Dhamirah and Teo You Yenn

At the Ball on Saturday, the organisation also handed out its annual AWARE Awards, celebrating individuals and organisations that promote gender equality in Singapore. This year, the winners were sociologist Teo You Yenn (named “Woman of Insight”), sexual harassment survivor Monica Baey (“Woman of Courage”) and Homeless author Liyana Dhamirah (“Woman of Resilience”). All three women were honoured on stage. 

“When we reflected on the people who sparked conversation and inspired real action in Singapore this year, You Yenn, Monica and Liyana immediately stood out to us,” said Ms Lim. “In their own way, each of them faced substantial challenges getting their messages out into the world, but against the odds they made people listen, and Singapore is the better for it. We’re so proud for them to join our illustrious group of AWARE Award recipients.”

Entertainment for the night came courtesy of actor-comedians Pam Oei and Rishi Budhrani, who paired up as hosts. One particular highlight for audiences was an inspired special edition of AWARE’s famed tongue-in-cheek Alamak Awards. Entitled “200 Years of Alamaks”, the side-splitting routine (by performers such as director Jo Tan, playwright Joel Tan and musical director Elaine Chan) chronicled landmarks of sexist history in Singapore.

Sponsors for the Ball included “Diamond” sponsors KAH Motor and KOP Limited, as well as an array of other organisations and individuals who pledged, purchased tables and contributed items for the live and silent auctions. Among the line-up of auction items were exclusive art pieces by Singaporean artists Jimmy Ong and Sam “SKL0” Lo, a stay at the Datai Langkawi luxury resort, and such unique experiences as a tour of graphic novelist Sonny Liew’s studio and a beer-tasting session with female master brewer Foo Lan-Xin.

Photography courtesy of Studiokel Photography.

Read information about the Time Traveller’s Ball here.


AWARE Award winners 2019

Teo You Yenn. Courtesy of Ethos Books

Teo You Yenn 

In her book This Is What Inequality Looks Like, researcher, activist and author Teo You Yenn brought to light the ways gender and inequality intersect in Singapore. Immersing herself in the lives of low-income families, she wrote about issues some would rather dismiss, igniting an ongoing conversation about the systemic shortcomings in our famously affluent nation. You Yenn’s approach is measured, anchored in data; she is always respectful, but clear about what needs to change.

Monica Baey. Courtesy of WomenTalk

Monica Baey

Monica Baey, an undergraduate, bravely stood up for herself after an experience of sexual harassment on campus. Though the uproar that ensued was intense and unexpected, she persisted, eventually driving a major shift in Singaporean attitudes towards sexual violence. By asking her university to own up to its inadequate policies and procedures, Monica fostered the creation of a safer campus for all students, and galvanised other schools and institutions to follow suit.

Liyana Dhamirah. Courtesy of MJ Photography

Liyana Dhamirah

In her book Homeless, Liyana Dhamirah shares her journey from the darkest of situations to her current position as a self-made entrepreneur. She sheds light on how society lets the individual down—the confluence of circumstances that led to her homelessness—and how it can pull an individual up again. She embodies resilience, determination and public spirit, in her continuing work to support lower-income families and the homeless.

25 November 2019: Taking Ctrl, Finding Alt 2019 – Technology-Facilitated Sexual Violence in Singapore (Panel and Contest)

Digital technology and sexual violence seem to elide more and more in our hyper-connected, hyper-visual world. Here in Singapore, it feels like a new case of technology-facilitated sexual violence breaks in the newspapers every week. There’s the distribution of explicit materials by intimate partners on social media. Upskirting, shower videos and other acts of voyeurism. Cyber-flashing, or the sending of explicit material to someone without their consent.

A 2017 research report by AWARE’s Sexual Assault Care Centre (SACC) revealed that nearly one in five cases involved a component of technology. Of these, one in two cases involved image-based sexual abuse (the subset of tech-facilitated sexual violence that encompasses voyeurism, cyber-flashing and non-consensual image distribution). Survivors whose personal information or intimate photos/videos are leaked without their consent often feel intense helplessness, anxiety and frustration.

Recent changes to Singapore’s Penal Code, which criminalise the aforementioned actions, reflect society’s growing recognition of this issue, and a desire to safeguard survivors’ rights in online spaces. Currently, survivors can file police reports or apply for non-publication orders, under which information can be taken down. However, these processes can be limited, time-consuming and tedious, and don’t take into account the time-sensitive nature of such crimes. And while changes in the law are welcome steps forward, more needs to be done in terms of prevention and better access to justice and support for survivors.

On the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women (25 November 2019), join AWARE for Taking Ctrl, Finding Alt 2019, a panel event centred on technology-facilitated sexual violence and how to fight it.

First, SACC will release a new set of statistics on the technology-facilitated sexual violence cases seen by the centre in the past couple of years. Then, with a line-up of expert speakers, we’ll talk in depth about the barriers and challenges faced by survivors of this type of sexual violence. Lastly, we’ll work towards finding ways to combat image-based sexual abuse, by launching a solutions-oriented contest.

The Panel:

Monica Baey, advocate for sexual violence survivors

As a student at NUS, Monica stood up for herself after an experience of sexual voyeurism, eventually driving a major shift in attitudes towards sexual violence. Monica was honoured with AWARE’s “Woman of Courage” Award at the 2019 AWARE Ball.

Amber Hawkes, Head of Safety Policy, APAC at Facebook

Amber works with NGOs, academics and policymakers to improve Facebook policies, products, tools and resources to keep its community safe. Previously, Amber spent over a decade combatting human trafficking and online child sexual exploitation.

Benny Bong, counsellor and Society Against Family Violence president

Benny is a counsellor, lecturer and trainer. As director and principal consultant at The Family Therapist, he has a long history with working against violence in the home. He is a founding member and current president of the non-profit Society Against Family Violence. Benny received the AWARE Hero Award in 2011.

Priscilla Chia, litigator and SACC volunteer lawyer

Priscilla’s practice focuses on commercial, public interest and criminal litigation, as well as non-contentious corporate advisory. Outside of her legal practice, Priscilla is actively involved in non-profit work with AWARE and other civil society organisations.

The Contest:

AWARE is calling for collaborators to work with on possible solutions to image-based sexual abuse. At this event on 25 November, we will launch a contest for various solutions from the community. Selected project(s) will receive funding from AWARE and partners for a five-month pilot run, from May to October 2020.

The solutions should involve at least one of these three themes:

∙ Prevention (e.g. policies for companies to ensure safety at the workplace, sustainable awareness-raising about image-based sexual abuse)

∙ Better access to support for survivors of image-based sexual abuse (e.g. initiatives to minimise the distribution of personal info/images/videos)

∙ Better access to justice for survivors of image-based sexual abuse (e.g. proposed changes to the law or to policies, procedures for better protection of survivors)

Details on how to apply will be announced during the event.

Date: Monday, 25 November 2019
Time: 6:30 – 9:00pm
Venue: Lifelong Learning Institute, Hall 1-2, 11 Eunos Road 8, Singapore 408601
Tickets: $5

Digital communication platforms are here to stay, so let’s make sure they’re used for more good than harm. Be a part of a much-needed change and join our campaign for zero tolerance for sexual violence. #AimForZeroSG

Register here!

16 November 2019: Write Forum – a letter-writing workshop by Constance Singam and Dana Lam

Do you have something to say about the news stories you read in the papers? Are you bothered by issues of injustice or inequality?

Writing letters to the newspapers is one way that engaged members of the public can express their views in Singapore. But persuasive letter-writing is a subtle art. How can your words enter the national discourse effectively – that is, with conviction, responsibility and eloquence?

Join Constance Singam and Dana Lam, two long-time writers and women’s rights activists, as they analyse their own epistolary triumphs and share strategies for getting ideas across effectively, succinctly and powerfully. As former presidents of AWARE, Connie and Dana have written prolifically to the press, government agencies and others, raising awareness about issues of gender, inequality, violence and more, and moving the needle towards progress.

This is a rare chance to learn from two leading lights in Singaporean civil society.

Programme Overview:

11:00 – Introduction and presentation – why write letters?

  • Letter-writing as one component in the activist’s tool bag
  • The AWARE experience – letters in advocacy, such as the “Stop Violence Against Women” campaign
  • Structure, tone and word count

11:45  Responses and break

12:05 – Analysis of sample letters: content, tone, structure, purpose

12:40 – Write now: participants work on letters collaboratively/individually

13:15 – Let’s hear it: presentation and discussion of participants’ letters

Details:

Date: Saturday, 16 November 2019

Time: 11am – 2pm

Venue: AWARE Centre (5 Dover Crescent, #01-22, Singapore 130005)

Workshop fee: $10. Food and materials will be provided. Remaining proceeds will go to AWARE’s programmes and services.

Note: Participants are invited to bring along other letters they have written or that strike them as interesting, for discussion.

This workshop was previously conducted as part of the N.O.W. (Not Ordinary Work) Festival 2019.

Register now!

A Recap: Sharul Channa’s Crazy Poor Sita, for Stand Together Festival

Written by Kaspen Paraskakis Narayan, AWARE intern.

“My name is Sita. I’m a salesperson in ION.”

On the evening of 16 October 2019, AWARE hosted the first of its two performances this month of comedian Sharul Channa’s Crazy Poor Sita.

Adapted from interviews with low-income families and AWARE’s 2018 report “Why Are You Not Working?”, Crazy Poor Sita is a uniquely realistic yet comedic take on the often hidden impoverished side of Singapore. After a hit debut run back in March this year, Sharul brought the production back to AWARE as part of the Stand Together Festival 2019, a collaborative effort by Rice Media and several local NGOs to encourage Singaporeans to fight inequality and poverty together.

Seventy members and friends of AWARE packed cozily into the Centre’s Training Room—the tight confines of which mimicked the limited living space that is often a reality for low-income families in Singapore. At the heart of the room sat Sharul, cross-legged and slumped slightly atop a red mattress. Sharul has gained a following as Singapore’s only full-time female stand-up comedian, with her show Disco Sheela and Other Indian Superwoman breaking ground in 2018. In Crazy Poor Sita, she takes on the distinctive role of Sita, an amalgamation of various women who participated in AWARE’s research.

Apologising for her “bad English”, Sita started off by asking the crowd a few probing questions, such as “Why do you think there are poor people in Singapore?”

As audience members responded, she threw in a few quips, on everything from the differences between HDB and rental flats to the perils of giving children overly optimistic names: “They think if they give good name, children will grow good! My husband is in jail, his name is Ganesh.”

Rueful chuckles filled the room. From there, the rest of Sita’s story unfolded, blunt and engaging—from her childhood of packing chillies all the way to a brief, desperate stint of homelessness in East Coast Park. Having no higher education than secondary school and needing to provide for two children, Sita managed to keep a rental flat through funds provided by the Social Service Office. Getting her job at ION, with the help of non-profit Daughters of Tomorrow, ironically led to even more financial worries, she laments, because her new salary put her in a higher income bracket, and a corresponding government-mandated rent increase.

As Sita’s story drew to a close, she invited audience members to ask questions about her life. A tentative start saw people inquiring about mundane details, such as whether her children still saw her in-laws. Eventually, though, audience members began offering possible solutions to Sita’s various plight: ideas like asking for transport allowance from work, finding a sympathetic coworker, or even starting a business.

As Sharul later commented, this urge to provide answers (even for a fictional character) was a common response to every performance of Crazy Poor Sita. At previous shows, she remembered, some audience members would offer “Sita” money or even their old clothes.

“It’s nice,” she pointed out. “It shows people want to help in Singapore; they just don’t know how.”  This, she added, is what makes the post-show discussions such an important part of the performance.

Comedian Sharul Channa and AWARE Executive Director Corinna Lim head the discussion after Crazy Poor Sita.

After the audience exhausted their questions for Sita, Sharul quietly exited the stage, to applause. Corinna Lim, executive director of AWARE, took her place. Next to Corinna stood a list of AWARE’s recommendations from the 2018 “Why Are You Not Working?” report, including:

  • Providing free childcare services to lower-income households
  • Providing flexible childcare arrangements
  • Developing a framework on the rights and benefits of casual workers who are not covered under the Employment Act
  • Making work pay more

Joined again by Sharul (this time out of character), Corinna opened the night’s discussion by drawing connections between AWARE’s research and Sita’s situation. Referencing the listed recommendations, she emphasised the need in Singapore for not just individual but also “national- and policy-level solutions” to systems that perpetuate inequality.

For example: The process of qualifying for childcare subsidies in Singapore is overly complex and arduous for many mothers. Childcare, Corinna said, was conceived as a mechanism to enable mothers to work. Yet “the problem exists for women in ‘patchy jobs’, for example, such as assisting in a hawker centre.” Without payslips or similar documentation as proof of work, these women are unable to qualify for childcare. This means they don’t have time to find a job, and continue to not qualify for childcare.

“It’s a vicious cycle,” Corinna stressed, “that we need to break by making childcare a right of children. Those below the poverty line should be given childcare for free.”

Corinna Lim moderates the post-show dialogue on 16 October 2019.

The audience chimed in with new questions, covering a diverse range of topics: the need for a minimum wage; the intersection of race and poverty; trade union systems in Singapore and abroad; the limitations of the aid MPs can provide; and the responsibility of NGOs and the government to meet the needs of the underprivileged.

To wrap up, Sharul and Corinna reiterated an overarching theme of Crazy Poor Sita: that we can all fight against the stigma and judgment surrounding low-income families. As Corinna put it, “We know they’re doing their best. Every decision they make is to make sure their kids have a good life.”

Want to lend your support to AWARE’s services for and research on low-income women? Sharul and AWARE have set up a Crazy Poor Sita Fund on Giving.sg. We welcome donations from anyone who has caught Sharul’s stirring show, and has been moved to help women like Sita break the poverty cycle.

Recruiting respondents for new research on workplace sexual harassment

Participate in a study on the career effects of sexual harassment on working women in Singapore!

Who can join?

  • We are currently looking for individuals who identify as women, aged 20 to 65 years.
  • They must have experienced sexual harassment at work in the past five years.
  • Preferably, they should have received formal emotional support (such as counselling, psychology, social work or a related service) for sexual harassment.
  • Participants should be willing to participate in a 90-minute interview.

All participants will be given $50 as a token of appreciation. Interviews are in English.

What is workplace sexual harassment?

Workplace sexual harassment is any unwelcome, unwarranted and uninvited conduct or behaviour of a sexual nature by an individual at work (including part-time, contract work, internships, etc.). It can happen at your place of work, or outside the office at work-related activities such as company functions, corporate events, team-building exercises or out-of-town business trips. The harassers can be managers, work colleagues, clients, suppliers, volunteers or industry peers. Sexual harassment can be a single event or take place repeatedly over time. Harassment can be verbal, visual, or physical. Both men and women can commit sexual harassment and be sexually harassed.

Support for respondents

Referrals to AWARE’s Sexual Assault Care Centre (SACC) and Workplace Harassment and Discrimination Advisory (WHDA) can be made before or after the interview. Emotional support is available, upon request, during the interview. Participation in the research is NOT a requirement in receiving referrals for help.

Confidential and anonymous

This research will be confidential. Information such as your identity, your workplaces and others involved will be anonymised. We will not contact your workplace or other people involved.

To participate, contact communications@aware.org.sg


Frequently Asked Questions

  • What if I’m not sure that my sexual harassment was severe enough, or that I even experienced sexual harassment in the first place?

Sexual harassment can take many more forms than you might be aware of. If you even suspect that you have experienced sexual harassment, please reach out! We want to hear from you.

  • Must my sexual harassment have been documented or reported officially for me to participate?

You are eligible to participate in this study whether you took any official action or not. The decision to report sexual harassment is difficult—many survivors choose not to because of career and safety concerns—so it is understandable to decide not to report.

  • Will my company find out and retaliate against my participation in this study?

All participants’ interviews and details will be anonymised—including identifying details of the companies and the harassers—to protect the participants. There will be no release of confidential and private details. AWARE will not contact any of the companies or people discussed during the interviews. The audio recording of your interview will be deleted after the report is published, following research protocols. All the data about the report will be kept encrypted to protect your privacy.

  • Do I have to name my harasser?

No. You don’t need to use any full names or identifying details when describing your experiences to us.

  • What if talking about my sexual harassment is stressful or traumatic for me? 

We will offer counselling services before and after your interview. A trained counsellor from AWARE’s Sexual Assault Care Centre can sit in for support during the interview, if you request. Your interviewer will be a woman with experience in interviewing survivors sensitively and confidentially.

We understand that being interviewed about past sexual harassment can be traumatic. For some survivors, it helps to view the experience as an opportunity to understand a wider context of the traumatic event, and possibly even help other survivors.

  • I have other concerns about this research. Who do I talk to?

You can directly email the project consultant, Jasmine Gomez, at jasmine@aware.org.sg, or email AWARE’s Shailey Hingorani at communications@aware.org.sg.

23 October 2019: Stand Together Festival presents Crazy Poor Sita by Sharul Channa

Just added – one more performance date, due to popular demand!

Stand Together Festival presents a special performance of Crazy Poor Sita by Sharul Channa, Singapore’s first full-time female stand-up comedian! If you missed this sold-out show when it debuted back in March, here’s a new chance to catch it—as well as an exclusive post-show discussion with Sharul.

This hour-long comedic monologue takes audiences through the highs and lows in the life of Sita, a spirited but disadvantaged woman struggling to maintain her sanity and eke out a living in the face of Singapore’s often absurd economic inequality.

Sharul brilliantly adapted the show from AWARE’s 2018 report “Why Are You Not Working?” and the real-life stories of lower-income families, to showcase the barriers that low-income mothers face in gaining and staying in employment. Jumping off from those insights with her disarming brand of wit, Sharul weaves humour and pathos into a wholly unique, wholly Singaporean theatrical experience. Treat yourself, your friends and family to an evening of truly original entertainment!

There are only 65 seats available at this intimate performance at the AWARE Centre. Tickets are free seating. Light refreshments will be provided.

When: Wednesday, 23 October, 2019, 7.30pm-9pm

Where: AWARE Centre (5 Dover Crescent, #01-22, Singapore 130005)

Tickets: $10

This performance is part of a series of events for the Stand Together Festival, organised by RICE Media. The Stand Together Festival aims to shed light on the workings of poverty and inequality in Singapore, contribute to a sensitive and nuanced discussion of its dynamics, and encourage Singaporeans to stand together in ending it.

Get tickets now!

A Recap: Make Care Count… in the National Budget

Written by Jasmine Gomez. Photographs by Kaspen Paraskakis Narayan.

“There are four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need a caregiver.” So said Rosalyn Carter, the First Lady of the United States from 1977 to 1981 and a pioneering caregiving advocate.

When Nominated Member of Parliament Anthea Ong referenced Carter’s words at AWARE’s “Make Care Count… in the National Budget” event on 5 October, 2019, they must have been familiar to many in the audience. After all, a Google search of the quote yields approximately 38,700,000 results.

Unfortunately, the fame of Carter’s sentiments does not necessarily reflect a commensurate level of acknowledgement and respect for caregivers around the world.

Even in rapidly ageing Singapore, despite some recent attention by local policy makers, caregiving remains undervalued. Its burden falls disproportionately on women, who often have little choice but to take on the responsibility of caring for older family members.

AWARE’s questions are: Do female caregivers in Singapore have to remain disadvantaged by caregiving—physically, emotionally, mentally and economically? How can the government provide more support?

AWARE’s Shailey Hingorani presents AWARE’s eldercare research findings at “Make Care Count… in the National Budget”.

Approximately 50 members of the public came together last Saturday morning to discuss those questions at the National Volunteer & Philanthropy Centre. “Make Care Count… in the National Budget” was a multi-part event: a public launch for AWARE’s new “Make Care Count” research report, a panel on eldercare in Singapore from the perspective of various stakeholders, and a discussion to devise concrete care-related policy recommendations, which will inform AWARE’s submission to the 2020 National Budget.

The panel comprised four speakers: Dr Joanne Yoong, senior economist at the University of Southern California; Kris Foo, a self-employed design consultant and primary caregiver to her elderly mother; NMP Anthea Ong; and Shailey Hingorani, head of research and advocacy at AWARE. The panel was moderated by Dr Kanwaljit Soin, AWARE founding member, former NMP and founding president of Society for WINGS.

Shailey kick-started the event with a presentation of “Make Care Count”—a qualitative study of 22 female caregivers in Singapore. The report found that a change in the caregiver’s employment status, be it a reduction of work hours or a complete withdrawal from the workforce, was almost inevitable as a result of caregiving responsibilities. For the respondents, this amounted to an average loss in income of $56,877 annually and, consequently, an average loss in employer CPF contributions of $7,705 per year on average. AWARE’s recommendations to counter this include: introduction of the statutory right to request flexible work arrangements (FWA), eldercare leave and family care leave, anti-discrimination legislation to deal with age-related and other forms of workplace discrimination, as well as a Caregiver Support Grant.

Dr Soin read a brief address on how gerontology and feminist scholarship have both traditionally left out the issues of older women. This lack of attention, she posited, coincides with the lessening of women’s social value as they physically age, as well as the financial instability that older women face as compared to their male counterparts. Additionally, caregiving—too often deemed a “woman’s duty”—is viewed as a private rather than public value in Singapore. Dr Soin then asserted the need for the feminist analysis of care to “move beyond documenting women’s predominance as caregivers and individual burdens and support, and address structural intersecting gender-based inequities that limit women’s choices as caregivers or as care recipients”.

Dr Kanwaljit Soin (in yellow) sits in on a small-group discussion during “Make Care Count… in the National Budget”.

Next, Kris shared her personal journey of caregiving, which she described as laden with loss “of not just a loved one, but financially, socially and [her] confidence”. As primary caregiver to her mother, who suffers from vascular dementia, anxiety and mild depression, Kris detailed the significant compromises she has made: working from home to attend to her mother, losing all semblance of a social life, managing foreign domestic workers who are typically untrained in eldercare, and depleting her savings. She is worried about the continuously changing market place, and the ageism she would face should she choose to go back to work full-time. She lamented: “Who is going to look after me when I am old? Everything feels so uncertain.”

Joanne shared her thoughts on the “invisible economic loss” that caregivers incur outside of the average dollars reflected on the balance sheet and ledger—also known as risk and uncertainty: “Part of the problem is that while we can tell you how much you will spend in a year, the premium attached to the uncertainty is huge because we don’t know how many years that’s going to be.” Pricing uncertainty is uncharted territory for our economic model.

Joanne also stressed the importance of supporting older workers who are coming back to the labour force after a caregiving hiatus. Such support, she said, should be about more than simply “giving them an ergonomic chair”; it should be more holistic and comprehensive.

Lastly, as a researcher herself, Joanne emphasised the need for further research. Only this, she said, can push policy-makers to focus their resources on true action.

Anthea, the final speaker, championed the need for caregiving to be prioritised within the overall Singaporean psyche: “Where I’m concerned, I think we’re not giving enough notice of this in terms of policy narratives.” Eldercare support is not, she argued, “something we can think of as ‘nice to have’”, because caregiving issues affect every single person. “My wish that for the upcoming budget, caregiving is not seen as just another segment that we need to look at, but one that should actually cut across the entire budget.”

Anthea weighed in on some the potential solutions towards easing the burden on female caregivers, such as the creation of a national database for caregivers—which, she pointed out, might be difficult to execute for various logistical reasons, including a possible reluctance of caregivers to come forward and readily identify themselves as such. Like Joanne, Anthea too believes that it is important to channel our resources into gathering data on caregiving. With this, she hopes, caregiving will one day be “institutionalised in such a way that there is no stigma or concern about how [caregivers’] employers will look at them”.

Participant Vivienne Wee poses a question to the panel.

A panel discussion moderated by Dr Kanwaljit Soin followed after. Issues raised by the audience and speakers included the recognition of caregiving as a form of employment or civic duty that should be adequately remunerated, the diminished performance quality of employees forced to balance work and care without flexible arrangements, and the economic loss suffered by employers forced to grapple with caregiving-related turnover. One attendee also pointed out that subsidies for non-citizen care recipients would provide great financial relief for their Singaporean caregivers, who have to fork out significantly larger fees for services like daycare.

Following the panel discussion, participants split up into six groups. Over 30 minutes, they brainstormed suggestions to cover various aspects of caregiving:

  • Financial support for singles
  • State financing for the ageing population
  • Work-place policies to improve work-life balance
  • Care infrastructure and formal care services
  • Re-employment and support for caregivers and/or older persons

Lastly, each group presented their suggestions to the floor. Their ideas ranged from encouraging more conversations about caregiving so as to remove the stigma about needing support, to shortening work weeks, and even channeling overall national savings from family caregiving towards a compulsory caregiver welfare.

AWARE will incorporate these suggestions into its submission to the National Budget in 2020.

Isabelle’s story: The long journey towards divorce

Our “Your Stories” series are submissions shared with us via email or in one-on-one interviews, for the purposes of our research and campaigns. All names have been changed (unless the use of real names was explicitly permitted by the author), and we have sought permission to publish from the authors/interviewees themselves. The opinions expressed in these posts do not represent those of AWARE.

Isabelle: I’m a 36-year-old single mum with a 13-year-old child. I got divorced a few years back.

I don’t have many childhood memories. My mum didn’t care about me and my dad was very strict to me. I’ve been working from the age of 14 until now, struggling by myself to be independent.

I used to consume drugs. When I was 21, I met my (now-ex) hubby. After dating for two years, I got pregnant. I decided to stop taking drugs as I knew it would harm my child, but my ex-hubby continued with his drugs. After our child was born, I thought life would be better. But I was wrong. Almost every day I lived in a nightmare.

I brought up my child with my bare hands. I worked at least three jobs, from day to night, just to survive and provide my child with milk powder and Pampers. While I was at work, my ex-hubby looked after my child. He would bring her wherever he went to carry out his illegal activities.

I remember when Lehman Brothers collapsed in 2008. So many people were jobless—and I was one of them, after getting retrenched. I was forced to take on a dishwasher/stall helper job with a salary of $4 an hour. Almost every day, I carried my child behind me to work, not wanting to leave her alone with my ex-hubby.

I had no family support; neither was my hubby’s family helping. His mother looked down on me and laughed, saying that I was so young, yet working an “auntie job”. I endured the pain and bit my lips to hold on the marriage.

When I got my rental flat, we moved out of his family’s home. Again, I thought things would change for the better, but again I was disappointed. He never changed. Instead, he got more and more into drugs. Every day, different people were staying in our house, doing drugs. The whole house stank. It was really unhealthy for us. Finally, he got caught and went to prison.

When he was released, I gave him another chance for the sake of our child. I got pregnant for the second time. Once again, I pinned my hopes on him changing; once again, he didn’t. He blamed me for the pregnancy, said the child was not his. He insulted me and said all kinds of nasty words.

My second pregnancy ended in a stillbirth. My husband never felt any remorse. It took two years for me to overcome the loss of this child. From there, our marriage was on the rocks. He has been in and out of prison. I lost my job. My elder child is undergoing counselling.

Eventually, I gave up on him and I decided to divorce. It was not easy for me to move on, but this is my struggle in life.

Currently, I am staying in a two-room rental flat. This situation is tough, though, as HDB charges rent based on your gross salary. They don’t care how much I have left in the bank after CPF deductions. I tried to apply for a Build-to-Order flat, but my CPF is not enough; I would have to top it up with cash, which I cannot afford. To be honest, I still don’t have any savings. Every month, my salary is all used up.
I want to share this with other ladies out there. Know that you are never alone in your struggle.

16 October 2019: Stand Together Festival presents Crazy Poor Sita by Sharul Channa

Stand Together Festival presents a special performance of Crazy Poor Sita by Sharul Channa, Singapore’s first full-time female stand-up comedian! If you missed this sold-out show when it debuted back in March, here’s a new chance to catch it—as well as an exclusive post-show discussion with Sharul.

This hour-long comedic monologue takes audiences through the highs and lows in the life of Sita, a spirited but disadvantaged woman struggling to maintain her sanity and eke out a living in the face of Singapore’s often absurd economic inequality.

Sharul brilliantly adapted the show from AWARE’s 2018 report “Why Are You Not Working?” and the real-life stories of lower-income families, to showcase the barriers that low-income mothers face in gaining and staying in employment. Jumping off from those insights with her disarming brand of wit, Sharul weaves humour and pathos into a wholly unique, wholly Singaporean theatrical experience. Treat yourself, your friends and family to an evening of truly original entertainment!

There are only 65 seats available at this intimate performance at the AWARE Centre. Tickets are free seating. Light refreshments will be provided.

When: Wednesday, 16 October, 2019, 7.30pm-9pm

Where: AWARE Centre (5 Dover Crescent, #01-22, Singapore 130005)

Tickets: $10

This performance is part of a series of events for the Stand Together Festival, organised by RICE Media. The Stand Together Festival aims to shed light on the workings of poverty and inequality in Singapore, contribute to a sensitive and nuanced discussion of its dynamics, and encourage Singaporeans to stand together in ending it.

This performance is sold out, but there will be one more on 23 October. Get tickets now!