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A Recap: 18 February 2023 Anti-Racist Allyship Workshop, for Growing Up Indian

Written by Victoria Jagger, intern, AWARE

“What does allyship mean to you?”

This is the first question asked of the 25 participants at AWARE’s anti-racist allyship workshop on Saturday, 18 February 2023.

Sharvesh Leatchmanan (they/them), the energetic co-founder of Minority Voices Singapore, led participants through the engaging two-and-a-half-hour session, leaving all feeling empowered to be allies to Indian women and other marginalised people in Singapore. Sharvesh is an MA student in the Department of Gender, Sexuality & Women’s Studies at Simon Fraser University, where they serve as the Knowledge Mobilization Officer at SFPIRG, a student resource centre dedicated to social and environmental justice.

This workshop was conducted as part of AWARE’s Growing Up Indian project, which included the recent publication of What We Inherit: Growing Up Indian, a collection of personal essays detailing various individuals’ experiences being Indian in Singapore. The workshop was designed primarily for non-Indians living in Singapore who wished to become better allies to the Indian community; as such, participants were majority Chinese. Sherlin Giri (she/her), who contributed the essay “Adoi” to What We Inherit, was also present. She provided valuable insights into her experiences as an educator, a single mother and Indian Singaporean.

Here are five key takeaways from the workshop that might be useful for other anti-racist allies.

1. Education is a personal responsibility.

Firstly, Sharvesh informed participants that it is our responsibility to educate ourselves about the discrimination others face, instead of waiting for others to teach us. We can educate ourselves through reading, researching and (respectfully) asking minority friends and colleagues about their lived experiences.

Part of that education is recognising the difference between “anti-racism” and “non-racism”., Whereas non-racism refers to merely refraining from using one’s own racial privilege against others (but doing little to challenge racist norms), anti-racism involves active efforts to eliminate all forms of racism. Thus, Sharvesh informed participants, the difference between being non-racist and anti-racist lies in the choices we make.

Another goal Sharvesh set out was that participants understand how, as members of the majority race, racial privilege Impacts our daily lives. Educating ourselves about our privilege is necessary to create self-awareness and challenge racist ideas and norms.

2. Allies are necessary for change.

Through guidance and encouragement, Sharvesh helped the participants decode the term “allyship”. They described it as an “active, consistent and arduous practice of unlearning and reevaluating, which one in a position of power or privilege undertakes to operate in solidarity with a marginalised group”.

Some discussion centred around whether participants, as racially privileged people, had a “right” to speak up in situations where minorities experienced racism. As members of a dominant race, they after all have little sense of the lived experiences and discrimination minorities endure daily.

However, Sharvesh and Sherlin pointed out that because participants yield power and have access to audiences that minorities do not, it is important to use their voices and spread visibility about racial injustice in order to inspire change.

The group identified actionable ways to be allies. Some examples included:

  • listening more
  • resisting the urge to “save” those we want to help
  • seeking guidance from the marginalised
  • actively discussing power and privilege
  • being accountable for our mistakes
  • de-centring ourselves and our own emotions.

3. Storytelling can be a powerful anti-racist tool.

The power of storytelling is where the imperative to “listen more” comes into play.

Sharvesh invited Sherlin to share her experiences growing up as an Indian Singaporean. She detailed the complexities of trying to figure out her identity in a society that typically labels people as “CMIO”: Chinese, Malay, Indian or Others. Sherlin herself identifies with Malay culture and speaks Malay, does not speak Tamil, and did not participate in activities like Indian dance while growing up. Thus, she demonstrates that Indian Singaporeans are not “monolithic”.

Many racial struggles still remain—Sherlin described her daughter’s frustration with microaggressions at Junior College. Nevertheless, further conversations with her children have led Sherlin to believe that Singapore society is slowly getting more conscious about racism and racial privilege. She mentioned the power of social media and her conviction that the younger generations are more aware and are having the conversations that were swept under the rug when she was at school.

This sparked an interesting conversation amongst workshop participants about how allies talk to older generations, such as their parents, to promote dialogue and awareness about racism.

4. It is not always easy to be an upstander.

Sharvesh explained the differences between a bystander—an individual who is unlikely to intervene in a situation where another is discriminated against or harassed—to an upstander, who actively calls out inappropriate language or behaviour.

The participants broke off into small groups to share examples where they were either bystanders or upstanders in violent situations. These included encountering colleagues’ racist hiring practices, hearing snide comments about dietary restrictions and witnessing teachers unfairly singling out students of a particular race. Everyone agreed that context was important: It might not always be easy to be an upstander if you yourself lack relative power in a situation.

Afterwards, Sharvesh introduced Right to Be’s “5Ds” bystander framework, which comprises five tactics: Direct, Delegate, Delay, Distract, and Document. Individuals can use these to be a successful upstander in situations of discrimination.

The groups then applied the 5Ds to real-life situations of racial discrimination taken from recent Singaporean headlines: For example, they suggested casually pretending to know the victim in order to step in and protect them against abuse. This exercise empowered participants with simple ways to stand up against racism in everyday situations.

Sharvesh also brought up the concepts of “calling out”—where one brings public attention to harmful actions—and “calling in”—holding a private conversation to inform a person of their prejudicial behaviours. Both calling out and calling in can be useful, depending on the circumstances.

5. Allies can tackle systemic racism, too.

Lastly, the workshop touched on the importance of recognising not just individual acts of racial prejudice, but the systemic racism deeply embedded within some laws, policies and societal structures. Sharvesh shared ways that people could fight against this, such as writing to MPs, researching, volunteering, and supporting advocacy movements.

Feedback from those who participated in the Anti-Racist Allyship workshop was overwhelmingly positive. Attendees found it “enlightening”, “eye-opening” and “digestible”, and came away inspired by the “much-needed conversations” on anti-racism in Singapore.

Interested in attending our next Anti-Racist Allyship Workshop? Sign up for our (online) 18 March 2023 edition now!

Please, dads, take paternity leave for your family’s sake

This op-ed was originally published in The Straits Times on 15 February 2023.

I cheered – alongside, I imagine, parents across Singapore – when Deputy Prime Minister and Finance Minister Lawrence Wong announced that government-paid paternity leave would be doubled from the current two weeks to four weeks.

These additional two weeks will first be voluntary for companies to adopt, then later made mandatory.

But they represent the most generous allowance yet for fathers in Singapore: Paternity leave was introduced only in 2013, enabling fathers to spend a week with their newborns. That period was subsequently doubled in 2017.

A boon for fathers, mothers and children alike

Increasing paternity leave benefits not only fathers, but also their spouses and children. Starting with the obvious, more leave empowers fathers to be more involved in their children’s care and gives them more time to pick up childcare skills.

In a 2020 local qualitative study by the Institute of Policy Studies, working fathers expressed concern that two weeks was too short for them to meaningfully contribute to caregiving after a child’s birth. This was particularly so for new fathers, who need more time to adapt to their new role.

Doubling the leave quantum should, hopefully, exponentially improve these fathers’ parenting abilities, making them happier and more capable members of a household.

After all, a 2021 McKinsey study found that all 130 new dads and their partners surveyed across 10 countries (including Singapore) were glad that they took paternity leave and want to do so again.

Second, greater paternal involvement also has profound benefits for a child.

A 2021 local study by the National University of Singapore found that children whose fathers take paternity leave when they are born are significantly less likely to face issues such as hyperactivity or anti-social behaviour.

These families also experience less internal conflict, a lower likelihood of maternal depression, more marital satisfaction and father-child closeness.

Third, greater parental involvement from fathers should reduce the caregiving load typically shouldered by women, and enable women to participate in the workforce at higher rates.

On average, women constitute 95 per cent of persons outside the labour force annually due to family responsibilities. Providing longer paternity leave will help narrow this gap and encourage women to return to work after having children.

Baby steps now, greater leaps to come?

However, there are some ways to go before paternity leave is where it should be. For one thing, the voluntary provision may not contribute to a significant improvement in the immediate months to come, since the policy kicks in only for babies born in January 2024 and after.

More importantly, a disparity remains between the paid leave quantum for working mothers and fathers.

While fathers can soon take up to eight weeks of paternity leave (that is, with an additional four weeks of parental leave under the Shared Parental Leave scheme), this is still just half of the full 16 weeks of leave their wives would otherwise enjoy.

This disparity perpetuates the idea that women should bear the onus of caregiving – since, as the argument goes, only mothers breastfeed. Yet, parenting involves far more extensive duties beyond nursing a child at the bosom. Childcare involves teamwork to care for an infant and deal with new stressors while juggling a host of other household responsibilities.

The burden of care work often interferes with women’s ability to engage in paid work, which results in many either reducing their work hours or leaving the labour force entirely.

Statistics from the Ministry of Manpower have shown that women with children suffer a “motherhood penalty”: They have the lowest labour force participation rates and incomes compared with childless women and men. In a society that values gender equality, this is unacceptable.

Moving towards truly gender-equal households

It is not uncommon for working fathers to face social stigma around taking paternity leave, which is partly to blame for the relatively low take-up rates.

Only slightly more than half of dads took paternity leave in 2019, according to the Ministry of Social and Family Development’s latest figures.

Such gender role stereotypes remain pervasive in Singapore, with a 2020 national survey conducted by Blackbox finding that more than six in 10 respondents agreed that women are better suited for caregiving roles than men.

Beyond personal efforts by parents, companies, too, should encourage greater use of paternity leave rather than punish men for being more involved at home. Companies should give their complete assurance that full utilisation of the leave will not affect new fathers’ performance reviews or career progression. Companies can also monitor the paternity leave take-up rate to tailor their strategies in encouraging new fathers to utilise their leave.

One such strategy is modelling. Those in senior management – not just in the business sector, but also in the civil service – should lead the way by taking the full four weeks themselves, thus encouraging other fathers.

Ultimately, we cannot stop here. For “paternal involvement to be a norm in our society”, as DPM Wong laudably intends, our societal perception of parenting as a whole needs to shift.

I look forward to the day when paternity leave is fully equalised with maternity leave, and childcare becomes a responsibility shared equitably between genders.

Corinna Lim

Executive Director, AWARE

AWARE encouraged by moves to uplift families and increase fathers’ involvement in parenting, but notes exclusion of single parents

This post was originally published as a press release on 15 February 2023.

Amid a suite of announcements in the 2023 National Budget aimed at boosting support for families and working parents, gender-equality organisation AWARE found cause for optimism. Yet the group also identified places where the Government’s vision, of a “Singapore Made for Families”, fell short of full inclusivity.

Responding to the “Moving Forward in a New Era” Budget announcement, delivered by Deputy Prime Minister Lawrence Wong on 14 February, AWARE Executive Director Corinna Lim commended a number of progressive family-oriented policy changes. “Initiatives to support families inevitably provide support for women, as the domestic sphere is still viewed as ‘women’s domain,’” she noted. “We were pleased to see attempts to break that stereotype and address other historical shortcomings.”

The doubling of paternity leave entitlements from two to four weeks—which continues a promising trend to increase men’s domestic participation and thus dismantle traditional gender roles—was heartily cheered on by AWARE. The group also praised the doubling of unpaid infant care leave for all parents with Singaporean children under two.

“A decade after Singapore first introduced paternity leave, we’re glad to see the leave quantum increased to a full month,” said Ms Lim. “That said, the amount of leave available to fathers now still falls short of the full 16 weeks available to mothers, which signals that the latter should be primarily responsible for childcare. This despite the fact that, as DPM Wong noted, paternal involvement carries a wealth of benefits to all members of a family, and indeed to society.”

AWARE has previously recommended the full equalisation of paternity and maternity leave.

Secondly, AWARE welcomed the announcement of additional financial support for new parents under the enhanced Baby Bonus Scheme: larger cash gifts (increased by $3,000 per child), more Government contributions to the Child Development Account (in the form of the enhanced First Step Grant and $1,000 in co-matching caps per child) and the extension of the Baby Support Grant.

The group also commended the change to the Working Mother’s Child Relief (WMCR), from a percentage of mothers’ earned income to a fixed dollar amount. While some higher-income mothers will receive a smaller relief sum, WMCR will provide proportionately more support for the low-income women most in need of assistance, and thereby be more progressive.

Ms Lim pointed out, however, that “it is not clear if this change would reduce the total amount of relief available to mothers via the WMCR. We hope that the Government will clarify this point and confirm that this was not the intention or expected effect of the change.”

AWARE noted furthermore that the aforementioned benefits do not support all parents equally: Unwed single parents are only eligible for those under the Child Development Account, not the other benefits under Baby Bonus or WMCR.* Considering that single parents are likely to be the sole breadwinners of their households, not to mention primary providers of care for their children, AWARE has advocated for their inclusion in such cash gifts and relief schemes.

“We celebrate alongside the mothers, particularly low-income mothers, who stand to benefit from these upgraded schemes, and whose child-rearing costs will be offset,” said Ms Lim. “Yet it is impossible to celebrate without thinking of those for whom the news was meaningless—or, worse, a sharp reminder of the prejudice and marginalisation they continue to face, as unwed single mothers. We hoped that the Budget would put a dent in the suite of policies that unreasonably penalise vulnerable single-parent families in Singapore, but it was not the case.”

Lastly, with low-income families facing the pressure of inflation and pandemic-related challenges, AWARE applauded measures to tighten the social safety net, such as the $300 million top-up to the ComCare Endowment Fund, the upscaling of KidSTART and the continued commitment to provide subsidised childcare. AWARE had previously recommended that childcare be made free for all low-income families in Singapore.

“When families’ social mobility is constrained, women and children often bear the brunt,” observed Ms Lim. “While there is room to go further, we are happy to see sustained efforts to equalise the playing field for these children at the earliest stages of their lives.”

Read AWARE’s previous Budget recommendations and responses here.

* Correction: An earlier version of this press release implied that unwed single mothers were eligible for WMCR in addition to CDA, but they are not.

18 March 2023: Anti-Racist Allyship Workshop with Sharvesh L (Online, Growing Up Indian)

Important note: This workshop is part of AWARE’s Growing Up Indian initiative to foreground the voices of Indian women in Singapore. The allyship workshop is intended primarily for non-Indians living in Singapore who wish to become better allies to the Indian community. If you have questions about this, please email media@aware.org.sg.

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It’s an unpleasant feeling, but one that, in all likelihood, most of us are familiar with: the dawning realisation that we enjoy privilege that others around us do not. That this privilege—whether of race, gender, sexual orientation, class or more—confers certain unearned benefits onto us, which we may have taken for granted all our lives. That even if we wanted to, there is little we could do to discard or otherwise neutralise our own privilege.

These feelings may rise to the surface with special intensity when we witness discrimination and violence happening to others. We might feel rattled, frustrated, helpless. We might feel a sense of shame that, as the bearers of relative power in a given situation, we have not done enough to prevent oppression and hurt.

What do we do with this uncomfortable knowledge? The answer lies not in ignoring our privilege, or throwing our hands up in despair—it lies in allyship. Positive and productive actions that genuinely benefit people, communities and initiatives that need support. But what does allyship really entail? How can we incorporate an intersectional perspective—the understanding that multiple systems of oppression exist, are interconnected and multifaceted, and must be challenged in multiple ways—into our allyship? How meaningful can allyship be if allies continue to participate in institutions predicated on racism and racialisation? And how do we avoid falling into the all-too-common traps of condescension, appropriation or saviourism?

Join us over Zoom on 18 March for an intersectional allyship workshop, with a central focus on anti-racist allyship. Informed in part by readings of AWARE anthologies Growing Up Perempuan and What We Inherit: Growing Up Indian, this two-hour online session will feature an introductory presentation by facilitator Sharvesh Leatchmanan (Minority Voices Singapore), a community sharing and a breakout room discussion. Whether you’re new to the concept of allyship, or you want to refine and expand your existing practice, we welcome you into this space for questions and personal stories that may be difficult to express.

We want our workshops to be accessible to everyone, and require your generous contributions to make programmes like this possible. While you are welcome to give any amount you wish, we suggest a minimum of $15 per person. No tax deduction will be provided. Note that Eventbrite requires a minimum contribution of $1. If for financial reasons you require a waiver of this minimum contribution, please email media@aware.org.sg.

We are unable to accommodate transfers and cancellations if participants are unable to attend after payment has been made.

REGISTER NOW

 

About the Facilitator

Sharvesh Leatchmanan (they/them) is an MA student in the Department of Gender, Sexuality & Women’s Studies at Simon Fraser University, where they serve as the Knowledge Mobilization Officer at SFPIRG, a student resource centre dedicated to social and environmental justice. At SFPIRG, they have facilitated intersectional discussions on ecological grief, decolonising mindfulness, anti-racism within healthcare systems and much more, with a specific focus on race and racialisation. Sharvesh is the co-founder of Minority Voices Singapore, a social media platform that raises awareness about the ongoing racism and discrimination ethnic minority communities face in the city-state. With a BA (Hons) degree in Guidance & Counselling, and a foundational background in the performing arts, Sharvesh is motivated by the power of stories and storytelling.

Will I be able to find a caregiver like Ah Mi when I get old?

This op-ed was originally published in The Straits Times on 18 January 2023.

Mum died last month.

I mourn her passing but I am also thankful she is no longer in pain. At a frail 93, her quality of life had not been good the past few years.

Today, there is a strange bittersweet void in my life. As the unmarried daughter, much of my time was devoted to mum’s care, managing her medical appointments, ensuring there was enough Fresubin in the house, keeping track of her prescriptions, and a host of other seemingly small but essential matters – all while holding down a full-time job.

As the years of caregiving wore on, I felt exhausted, sometimes resentful and many times on the verge of breaking down. Most times, I felt very alone.

But I wasn’t alone.

I had the privilege of being able to afford a caregiver. Like many women in Singapore – and indeed, around the world – we have relied on other women to help manage our families. Without paid domestic helpers and caregivers, we would be barely functional as a nation.

The future of caregiving

My mother’s last years have made me think seriously about my future caregiving needs.

While the Government is getting the hardware in place by planning retirement homes, setting up eldercare centres and repurposing flats, something also needs to be done about the software, especially if people are being encouraged to age in place.

People need people. And today, we are heavily reliant on foreign workers to staff not only our homes, but also our healthcare sector. When mum was in and out of hospital, I saw first-hand how true this was.

We are also heavily reliant on luck. Everyone knows hiring the right helper or caregiver is a game of chance. Similarly, for the migrant domestic worker (MDW), finding the right employer is an intimidating and uncertain process.

The luck of the draw

When mum passed, I wanted to personally make sure Ah Mi went to a good family that would value her. Instead of relying on agencies, I actively asked around my network of friends. And so, she ended up with a friend’s aunt desperately looking for someone to care for her father whose Parkinson’s had taken a turn for the worse. She had been at her wit’s end because agencies had not been able to help, as demand for caregivers continue to outstrip supply.

Again, luck played a good hand, for Ah Mi and my friend’s aunt.

But I don’t want to gamble on my future. Nor should workers from other countries be made to gamble with theirs when they choose to work in our country and our homes.

So, it is time to put a greater value on caregiving.

By 2030, one in four Singaporeans will be over 65. And the Asia-Pacific population is ageing faster than any other region in the world due to lower fertility and mortality rates, as well as longer life expectancy. According to the United Nations, there are now 630 million Asians aged 60 years or over, representing 60 per cent of the world’s older people. By 2050, their number is projected to increase to 1.3 billion, with the majority being women.

Will I be able to find an Ah Mi when I get old, someone trained properly to look after the elderly? Equally important, can we do better to empower women like Ah Mi who leave behind their own families to look after ours? Would they be able to get, besides a salary, something long term and useful in return for their labour?

Everyone in the chain is dependent on the luck of the draw, which also includes a scrupulous and ethical agency. All these stories can be found in Aware’s 2020 research report, Neither Family Nor Employee, which features in-depth interviews with 25 MDWs, four employment agencies, seven employers and five formal providers of eldercare training. Twenty per cent of the MDWs reported that the needs of their care recipients were different from what had been described by the agents and/or employers during the hiring stage. Of the 21 respondents who had interviews with their employers prior to hiring, 67 per cent were not asked about previous training and 62 per cent were not asked about their previous work experience in caregiving.

I lucked out with mum’s final caregiver. Sri Ayuni – or Ah Mi as she asked to be called – had spent six years in a nursing home in Taiwan and spoke fluent Mandarin. While she was mum’s caregiver, she also indirectly cared for me by allowing me breathing space to be myself, to be by myself.

I had hired her in the midst of Covid-19 restrictions when she was still in Indonesia. We met on a Zoom call, taken hurriedly before a work lunch appointment in Tanjong Pagar. I had Zoomed other potential caregivers but took a chance on Ah Mi because of her cheerful demeanour and kind eyes.

My gamble paid off. Not only did she know how to feed, bathe and move mum, she also knew how to engage mum in vocal exercises to strengthen her throat muscles for easier swallowing. When mum was in hospital, even the nurses were impressed. She was also incredibly patient, caring and responsible.

Professionalising caregiving

Perhaps, one way is to give them official and professional recognition from a reputable institution that can raise their market value and set them up for a brighter future.

Currently, there are individual caregiving training programmes offered by different service providers under the Agency for Integrated Care. These are short lessons targeted at specific needs – for example, learning how to care for someone with diabetes or dementia. And they are aimed at employers who may or may not see the need to upgrade the skills of their helpers. However, private caregiving agencies like Homage also offer courses and training geared at people who want to become professional caregivers.

It would be great to leverage these existing efforts to come up with a certified, comprehensive and holistic curriculum that covers practical skills, as well as larger aspects of caregiving, including understanding the physiology and demands of ageing.

I am confident that Singapore, which prides itself on being an education hub, can easily establish a gold-standard training centre for caregiving.

We could offer scholarships to women and men in the region who, in return, can serve their bond by working as caregivers in Singapore homes – or even hospitals – for a specified period.

This could ensure a steady pipeline of trained caregivers for Singapore; it also sets up an ecosystem in the region where caregiving is recognised and valued. Caregivers, armed with proper and recognised certifications, can move up in their careers, not only in Singapore but also back in their home countries, and elsewhere in the region and the world. We could start the rising tide that lifts all boats.

It takes a village

Of course, there are other big issues to grapple with as our population ages, including a shortage of hospital beds and rising medical costs. But let us not forget the migrant domestic workers and caregivers in our midst who already play a vital role in our homes. Our lives have long been intertwined, as a regional village of surrogate mothers and sisters and daughters.

In planning for our future, we should also include theirs.

Ong Soh Chin is the president of Aware, Singapore’s leading women’s rights and gender equality advocacy group, which is a member of the Singapore Alliance for Women in Ageing.

28 January 2023: Creative Non-Fiction Storytelling Workshop with Balli Kaur Jaswal (Growing Up Indian)

Important note: This workshop is part of AWARE’s Growing Up Indian initiative to foreground the voices of Indian women in Singapore. It is therefore intended primarily for Indian women participants. If you are not an Indian woman but are still interested in writing about the intersection of race and gender in Singapore, however, you may sign up. If you have questions about this, please email projects@aware.org.sg.

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We all have a story to tell, but how do we go about writing it?

In AWARE’s 2022 anthology, What We Inherit, Indian women writers expressed their stories via the form of the personal essay. If you were inspired by those essays, or simply wish to learn how to write your own story as an Indian woman, this workshop is for you!

In this two-hour introductory workshop, author Balli Kaur Jaswal (Sugarbread, Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows) will delve into the possibilities of the personal essay, a subset of creative non-fiction. As participants, you’ll learn about the personal essay form and explore various angles through which you can approach non-fiction storytelling. You’ll come to understand how personal essays can reflect on your lived experiences, and the foundational skills for writing your own narratives.

Please note this workshop will be online only (Singapore time). Participants will be emailed the Zoom link shortly before the session date, alongside some reading materials and other preparation instructions. We encourage participants to turn on their video throughout the session.

We want our workshops to be accessible to everyone, and require your generous contributions to make programmes like this possible. While you are welcome to give any amount you wish, we suggest a minimum of $15 per person. No tax deduction will be provided. Note that Eventbrite requires a minimum contribution of $1. If you require a waiver of this minimum contribution, please email media@aware.org.sg.

We are unable to accommodate transfers and cancellations if participants are unable to attend after payment has been made.

Date: Saturday, 28 January 2023
Time: 3-5pm
Venue: Online (Zoom)
Fee: Contribute what you can (suggested amount $15)

Register here!

About the Facilitator

Balli Kaur Jaswal is the author of five novels, including Singapore Literature Prize finalist Sugarbread, and the international bestseller Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows. Jaswal’s non-fiction has appeared in The New York Times, Harper’s Bazaar and Salon.com, among other publications. Currently a lecturer at Yale-NUS College, she is preparing for the release of her upcoming novel, Now You See Us.

Understanding Coercive Control: Comic series by Charis Loke

25 November marks the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women (and AWARE’s official birthday). It’s also the start of 16 days of activism culminating in International Human Rights Day. For this year’s IDEVAW, we’re focusing on coercive control—an insidious form of domestic violence that is as yet little understood in the Singapore context.

Coercive control is a pattern of threats, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, regulation, monitoring and/or assault. These acts are designed to make a person—often an intimate partner or family member—subordinate to and/or dependent on the perpetrator. However, because the acts don’t always fit mainstream ideas of “abuse”, victims and people around them might not instinctively identify coercive control as violence.

Our goal is to change that. We’ve worked with artist Charis Loke to create this series of comics about coercive control. First up is this primer: a quick overview of what this type of abuse entails. We’ll follow up next week with three short stories, loosely adapted from the experiences of coercive control survivors to whom AWARE has given support.

If you suspect that you are going through coercive control, call our Women’s Helpline for assistance at 1800 777 5555 (Mon-Fri, 10am-6pm).

[Content warning: domestic violence]

Comic 1: Identifying coercive control



Comic 2: “Couldn’t you see what was going on?”

Comic 3: “Who’s going to look at you?”

Comic 3: “The kids don’t love you.”

A Recap: Declassify Sex Ed! panel discussion

What are some misconceptions amongst Singapore students regarding sexuality education? What is something about sex ed that you wish you had known earlier? What’s missing from Singapore’s mainstream sexuality education syllabus?

On 7 September 2022, AWARE hosted Declassify Sex Ed!, a Zoom event to celebrate the launch of our Sex Ed, Declassified online portal for teens. We dove into honest real-life Singapore experiences with sex ed—the good, the bad, the gross and everything else. The event first kicked off with a quick trivia game to test participants’ sex ed knowledge. Then, moderator Nicole Lim, host of Something Private podcast, facilitated an open conversation between Aina, Elijah and Kamalini, three students and former AWARE interns. The four talked about everything from embarrassing sex ed stories, common misconceptions amongst their peers and the things they wished they’d known at a younger age. Lastly, AWARE’s Tan Joo Hymn and Dr Angela Tan of Academy of Relationships and Sex answered attendees’ burning sex ed questions on the spot.

Couldn’t make the event? No problem—we’ve cut together a highlight reel of the panel discussion between Nicole, Aina, Elijah and Kamalini! Watch it here.

Limited service for AWARE’s CARE and WHDA services: Dec 2022 – Jan 2023

 

Please be advised that our Women’s Care Centre, Sexual Assault Care Centre and Workplace Harassment and Discrimination Advisory will have different operating hours over the year-end and New Year period.

 

Women’s Care Centre and Sexual Assault Care Centre

  • 14 – 23 December 2022: Limited service*
  • 24 December 2022 – 2 January 2023: Closure
  • 3 – 6 January 2023: Limited service*

Workplace Harassment and Discrimination Advisory

  • 12 December 2022 – 2 January 2023: Closure
  • 3 – 6 January 2023: Limited service*

 

* Under limited service, our Helplines are open weekdays from 10am-3pm (instead of 10am-6pm), and no new clients are accepted except cases where sexual assault has occurred within the last 72 hours, if the team has capacity.

Normal service will resume from Monday, 9 January 2023 and on.

You may contact the National Anti-Violence Helpline at 1800 777 0000 for support. They operate 24/7 and will be able to provide support for any violence you are facing.

For emergencies, please call 999 for the police. You can also call 1767 for the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) if you have thoughts of hurting yourself, including thoughts of suicide.

We seek your kind understanding and patience during this period.