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Building Dreams: A powerful dialogue session with Muslim women

Women from all walks of life – mothers, scientists, and entrepreneurs – shared their insights, experiences and struggles on caregiving, leadership and employment at a dialogue session for Muslim women on Saturday, 25 March.

Together with partner organisation Daughters Of Tomorrow (DOT), AWARE conducted an intimate session with guest-of-honor Speaker of Parliament Halimah Yacob and 40 of DOT’s beneficiaries, mainly from low-income families. The event was run as part of International Women’s Day celebrations.

Many present were single mothers shouldering the heavy responsibilities of work, job-searching, childcare and eldercare. They courageously shared personal stories of financial struggles, divorce, family violence, and difficulties with employment, all while giving encouragement and advice for other women in similar situations.

Mdm Halimah started the session talking about her own difficult childhood and overcoming what seemed like impossible barriers – including her family’s financial struggles, and working from a young age to help her mother support the family, before pursuing her education further with a sense of determination and a strong work ethic. When asked about the difficulty of employment as a Muslim woman donning the tudung, Mdm Halimah and other speakers shared their own experiences confronting prejudice and grappling with being the object of curiosity, with some taking control of these uncomfortable instances by educating and starting open conversations.

Nabila, a life coach, found herself $10,000 in debt when her ex-husband left her with a 3-month-old baby.  She talked about how she cleared her debt, earned an MBA and eventually went on to speak at Harvard University, sharing the lessons she picked up along the way. Another guest speaker, Mdm Aisha, owner of Aisha’s Kitchen, is a divorcee who was left with four children and no employment prospects, but has now built a successful F&B business..

Common threads began to emerge as each woman shared her story: the importance of positive self-talk, finding strength in themselves and their children, and the huge challenges that come from balancing work and family.

It was a powerful and emotional afternoon for many of the women. At the end of the session, participants spoke of the renewed motivation and camaraderie they had with one another, upon having their stories heard and their perspectives affirmed.

 

 

2017 AWARE Annual General Meeting

The AWARE Annual General Meeting (AGM) will be held on Saturday, 22nd April 2017, at 2 p.m. at the AWARE Centre. If you are an AWARE member, please do join us for this meeting to find out about our achievements and challenges in 2016 and give us your suggestions and ideas for our current and future work.

As always, we will have a scrumptious tea after the AGM. This is a great time to catch up with friends and meet like-minded people. For those who are new to AWARE, we would love to get to know you!

Please click here for the Notice of 32nd Annual General Meeting.

You are highly encouraged to RSVP your attendance for the AGM via online registration here.

If you have not renewed your membership yet, please renew your membership now by logging in. Alternatively, you can renew your membership at the door before the AGM.

Please contact Jesvinder at jesvinder@aware.org.sg or 67797137 if you have any questions. We look forward to seeing you at the AGM.

RSVP for the AGM here

S’s story: Our support matters. Reform suicide law.

Last September, AWARE called for the law criminalising suicide to be reformed – urging that it should no longer be an offence.  We also made recommendations to improve first response so that persons attempting suicide – who are already in distress – are not further traumatised by experiences of arrest.

This issue has gained attention in Parliament recently, with Senior Minister of State Mr Desmond Lee announcing in November last year that the Government is prepared to review suicide laws. Earlier in February, NMP Kok Heng Leun suggested that MSF consider having a specialist team to provide psychological support and mental health expertise and accompany the police when responding to cases of attempted suicide. MSF replied that the current approach of mobilising the Police “prioritises (the attempter’s) immediate safety” and “time taken to mobilise a larger team… may delay (their) response”.  (See full text of question and answer).

Unfortunately, accounts from suicide survivors suggest that current processes are not adequately sensitised to their needs.  Here is S’s story.

S’s story: Social worker called the police because she was having suicidal thoughts, police then threatened to send her to IMH in handcuffs

For five years, S did not have a home. She bunked in with relatives and friends from time to time or slept in the streets before moving into a women’s shelter end 2016. In February 2017, S met with her social worker to discuss how she was finding the shelter. S was staying with five other women in the shelter who would frequently quarrel with each other and they all complained to S about their conflicts. S told him that her stay was fine but sometimes, she would feel ‘overstressed’ from having to listen to her roommates fight and complain to her. When the stress felt overwhelming, S said she would have suicidal thoughts at times.

Without S knowing, her social worker then sent a text message to S’s employer, saying that she was not feeling well and unable to go to work, and also called the police. Two police officers arrived at the social worker’s office and immediately started to question S. A police officer raised his voice asking ‘why are you suicidal?’ At around 7pm, two more officers and an Investigation Officer (IO) arrived. S found the IO to be ‘very pressurising’ as he repeatedly asked, ‘Do you want me to arrest you? Do you want me to catch you?’

S was bewildered by the police’s involvement as she was not actually attempting suicide. She felt that she was just doing what one does to a social worker – expressing her frustrations and feelings to someone who was supposed to listen and offer support.

The IO then suggested that S be sent to IMH, saying ‘you go or we will handcuff you to go’. S asked a second social worker (M) if she really had to go to IMH and M said yes. Before leaving for IMH, S managed to call and inform her step-brother that she was going to IMH.

S arrived at IMH at around 10pm, where she took various blood tests and spent 2.5 hours waiting to see a doctor. The doctor said S was OK and there was no need for overnight admission.

However, even after S was cleared by the doctor, M asked if IMH could admit S for two to three days, saying that they were worried if S were to go back to the shelter, she would ‘do something stupid’.

S described IMH as ‘scary’ and protested against her admission. The doctor confirmed that she would not be admitted into IMH.

The bill for consultation and medication came to $150. However, S felt that it was unfair for her to pay as she was there against her will, and she was also in financial distress at that time.

S found the experience to be ‘very traumatic’ and is upset by the fact that she now has a police and an IMH record from this incident. She was also very disappointed with her social worker for calling the police instead of providing a listening ear to her.

S is currently on her back-to-work support journey with Daughters Of Tomorrow, an economic empowerment programme supported by AWARE.

AWARE response to AGC statement (Joshua Robinson case)

AWARE’s public response to this case is delayed as it was submitted to The Straits Times, but rejected for publishing. Click here to read the AGC’s official statement on their decision not to appeal against the sentence.

The statement offered by the Attorney-General’s Chambers (AGC) on the Joshua Robinson case points to the need for a clearer legal definition and public understanding of consent in sexual assault cases.

Consent to sexual activity must be fully voluntary agreement, untainted by factors like coercion or abuse of authority.

Singapore’s case law is fairly nuanced.  The courts have recognised, for instance, that consent initially given can be later withdrawn during sexual activity, and that consent to one form of intimacy, such as kissing, is not consent to other forms of intimacy, such as intercourse.

However, case law is not accessible to most people.  There is no single statutory definition of “consent” which clearly lays out all the key points of the law.

Section 90 of the Penal Code non-exhaustively states some factors which vitiate consent, such as the fear of injury, or misconceptions of fact.

For instance, saying “yes” to sexual activity out of fear that intimate videos will be circulated should not amount to consent.

Yet in our experience, the absence of a single clear and comprehensive statutory definition can lead to public confusion, including among sexual assault survivors and agencies who may encounter them.

The AGC has introduced a further disquieting element, by characterising sexual activity between an adult and minors aged 15 as “consensual”.

In our view, minors under the age of 16 should not ever be said to have legally consented to sexual activity with adults, given the significant and unavoidable power imbalance between the parties.

This is surely the entire principle underlying the existence of Section 376A of the Penal Code, which criminalises sexual penetration of a minor.  The act constitutes an offence precisely and only because the vulnerability of the minor and the adult’s position of authority together prevent the minor from giving fully voluntary agreement.

The AGC’s statement may have the troubling effect of deterring minors from reporting sexual abuse by adults, because they may believe these will be seen as “consensual”.

We urge proper codification of the law of consent, including a clear recognition that minors cannot be understood to consent to sexual activity with adults.  Any review of criminal justice responses should proceed on this basis, and with close attention to evidence-based best practice in other jurisdictions, including options such as restorative justice sentencing and background checks for those working with young people.

Join our focus group discussion!

Are you facing trouble finding or keeping work while caring for your children? Would you like to talk about your situation and voice your opinion? Come join us for a discussion so we can promote change!

Are you:

  • 25 – 62 years old
  • Taking care of children below age 18
  • Household income below $4000

We offer you:

  • $30
  • Childcare during discussion
  • Refreshments
  • Safe and confidential setting

When: TBC
Various dates & time slots in February, March, April and May 2017

Where: TBC
Likely @ AWARE, Block 5 Dover Crescent #01-22 Singapore 130005

To sign up or for enquiries, please contact Syfra at consultant@aware.org.sg or call 6779 7137

 

 

AWARE calls for more shared responsibility for older people for 2017 National Budget

This post was originally published as a press release on 17 January 2017. 

Gender equality group AWARE submitted its seventh annual set of recommendations for the National Budget through the public consultation portal REACH on 13 January.  

“The Budget will be announced on 20 February, the World Day of Social Justice,” said Jolene Tan, Head of Advocacy and Research at AWARE. “We hope the government commemorates the day with a stronger collective commitment to the dignity of older people.”

“This particularly helps women: first, women tend to face more financial insecurity in old age; second, when older people’s needs go unmet, women in the family make disproportionate sacrifices to ensure their care.”

This year’s recommendations urged the state to consider the needs of two groups who will be most affected by Singapore’s ageing population:

1. Older people (aged 65 and above), most of whom are women and many of whom lack resources to meet their own care needs. AWARE recommends:

  • Expanding the availability and quantum of Silver Support, including by removing the different bands for HDB flats of different sizes
  • Making healthcare in old age more affordable: exploring the possibility of adapting the Pioneer Generation Package for all generations
  • Reforming Eldershield, including by removing the 72-month limit so that payouts are for life, and removing the gender difference in premiums

2. The next cohorts of women (aged 25-64) on track to becoming elderly persons, particularly those who, due to caregiving responsibilities, cannot participate in the workforce to accumulate private resources for their care needs in old age. AWARE recommends:

  • Supporting home-based care by family caregivers
  • Making formal childcare facilities more accessible to all mothers, including by relaxing and (for households with the lowest incomes) removing the employment preconditions for childcare subsidies
  • Supporting all working adults in caregiving, regardless of gender, including by introducing eldercare leave and increasing the gender neutrality of parental leave

“We must face demographic realities. With a shrinking number of children within each family, we can nevertheless sustain social support if we look at the tax base as a whole, including the growing proportion of the working population who are migrants,” said Jolene Tan. “This is fairer and more realistic than relying primarily on private transfers of wealth within families to meet care needs.”

More details can be found in the full text of our submissions. Recommendations that we have made for the national Budget in recent years can be found on our website: 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013

A meeting with ESM Goh Chok Tong

On 6 January 2017, AWARE was pleased to host Emeritus Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong and Members of Parliament Cheryl Chan and Rahayu Mahzam at the AWARE Centre.

It was a fruitful afternoon. We introduced to them the work that we do and the services we provide for women in crisis. The meeting was a good opportunity for us to engage on a range of social and policy issues that our team has been working on, from single parents’ access to public housing to the economic empowerment of low-income women. ESM Goh and his colleagues were receptive to our ideas and research findings. They in turn, offered valuable perspectives from the point of view of policymakers.

This meeting reaffirmed the importance of communication between civil society and policymakers. We hope for more opportunities and platforms for advocacy and engagement in the new year.

Take sexual violence seriously, but don’t cane

This letter was first published in TODAY on 12 January 2017. 

Recent letters have expressed views on the use of judicial caning for sexual offenders –“Review age limit for caning sentences” (6 Jan) and “Relook need for corporal punishment” (9 Jan).Sexual violence of any form must be taken seriously.  Clients of our Sexual Assault Care Centre (SACC), which supports women who have faced sexual assault including molest, have shared their experiences of the long term psychological and emotional impact of these experiences, including fear, anxiety, flashbacks and difficulties with relationships and intimacy.

As sexual violence is most often committed by someone known to the survivor, it can also distort their sense of self and disfigure how they view the world around them.

We must thus avoid the characterisation of molest as “touching with no lasting damage”, to use Mr Terence Lim’s words.  Such dismissive language can strongly dissuade individuals from seeking help regarding their experiences, potentially worsening the long-term trauma.

However, we disagree with Mr Liew Kai Khiun that judicial caning is necessary or helpful in addressing sexual violence.

Violent punishments such as caning may contribute to normalising rather than reducing a culture of violence.  They suggest to the public that authority and norms are rightly established through physical domination.  Caning older people, as Mr Liew suggests, would be particularly disturbing because it involves applying violence to people who – wrongdoings notwithstanding – are vulnerable.

In fact, we agree with Mr Terence Lim that the current approach of applying this punishment to men is rooted in sexism.  The idea that men in particular can only be “controlled” by applying pain and physical domination can actually feed into a culture which fails to take sexual violence seriously, because male aggression is wrongly seen as “natural”.

We also question whether there is detailed evidence proving that judicial caning is truly a more effective deterrent than other measures like prison terms, fines, community service and restorative justice measures such as restitutionary agreements.  Indeed, the prospect of harsh punishments have in fact deterred some sexual assault survivors from reporting, particularly when the perpetrator is known to them – thus reducing the chances of bringing the offender to justice.

Based on SACC’s experience, a more urgent priority is to further improve the victim’s experiences of legal and criminal procedures.  If they can be better supported through the processes of reporting, investigating and prosecuting, more of them are likely to come forward and sustain their involvement all the way to conviction.  Improving the chances of securing convictions will do more to promote deterrence than imposing harsh penalties.

We urge the government to move towards restorative justice and more victim-centric legal processes.  What victims and society at large need is a fair criminal justice system which reassures them that the perpetrators will be held accountable for their acts regardless of the nature of the crime.  This accountability need not and should not mean brutality.

Set up a stall at our International Women’s Day block party!

On 11 March, celebrate International Women’s Day with us at our FREE block party at the AWARE Centre. Browse through an eclectic flea-market (with handmade crafts, art, freshly baked goods and more), learn about other civil society groups in Singapore, chill out with live performances, pick up gems at the clothes and book swap, and try your luck in a raffle! Gather your friends and family, and come down for a celebratory day of community and solidarity.

We are currently on the lookout for any interested contributors, including stall vendors, civil society groups, performers, artists, bakers, etc. If this sounds like you, please fill in the registration form.

Questions? Drop us an email at media@aware.org.sg

Date: 11 March 2017
Time: 3pm – 7pm
Venue: AWARE Centre 5 Dover Crescent #01-22